Sleeping too much

big thankyou to everyone who talks to me here, really appreciate it

Love the bright new pic @Former-Member. Sorry I dropped out last night, was in my head too much with stuff circling. I hope today has been better. I felt so sad for you when I read about your flashbacks. I think if I had gone through what you have I'd be having flashbacks as well. It might be worth looking into EMDR at some stage, any therapy which helps bring you peace is a good thing. Both your new avatar pics and the pic above look vibrant and new so I hope that's how you are feeling. 💜😊

Hey @Faith-and-Hope. Wasn't sure where to post this but thought here as good as any place. Last night I guess I realised that I actually know much of what you are feeling. Although my ex's MI was very different to WH there are so many similarities but I guess I know a bit from my own personal experience as well when we go wayward with undiagnosed MI that nothing registers at the time. Before my ex's illness went to the whole new level ( he disappeared for 3-4 hours a day on his so called runs) I had become lost probably with depression and undiagnosed PD's. My kids say that I was totally absent during this time and I guess my ex told me that too but I couldn't see it at the time. This was the trigger that sent ex's MI into overdrive, he said that for the first 9 years of our relationship he had it under control, in reality he had one part of it under control, there were still things he didn't but he wasn't affecting others during those years as far as I can possibly know. Those last few months before he was 'outed' much of his behaviour is like what you describe, almost identical in fact. It really hit home last night. Once it was known he changed parts of him back to his old self and even better than before but he didn't do the work he needed with professional help for it to really make lasting change. Towards the end he returned to the person he was before he was outed. On the day I attempted three years ago the last thing to happen was that I told him that he was having a really bad affect on the kids and he replied that is was all in my head like everything else. I snapped but the build up had been there for many months. I'm telling you this to say that I get it and just began to remember it. I also think that maybe if he'd had a @Faith-and-Hope in his life he'd have worked through things better. I wasn't able to help him because by then I'd come undone and had was spending 20 hrs a day in bed. I couldn't cope with life at all. I was vacant and clueless and mostly out of it. I really hope that WH is 'outed' with his MI somehow which enables him to do the work to overcome it. I know that with you and your kids by his side you have every chance of a great outcome. Thinking of you always 💜😊

Thank you so, so much @Former-Member ..... you don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that .... because it can feel at times like we're wandering in the desert, thinking we are on the right path but not having any landmarks, or very few, to reassure us that it's safe to try to keep going ....

I am so sorry to hear that you were struggling so hard at that time without having a Faith-and-Hope husband walking with you, and I am humbled to think that you can see me making a big difference in our equation ....

My D3 just had a huge melt-down .... asking questions and struggling to understand .... was screaming at me that we are living a lie .... and why can't we just tell somebody the truth so we can get some help happening here .... why are we just carrying on to all outward appearances as though there is nothing wrong ??

The best O could tell her is that we're trying to walk him home ... and it's going to be much harder, we have a lot more to lose, if this thing breaks open before it can be properly contained and the proper help is available to us ....

You are telling me that that is correct ...

I hope my situation is not triggering for you @Former-Member ... that it can help lend purpose to what you have suffered to help us through ,... ? In turn I hope and pray it can help to heal you ....

Sending you much love and gratitude ....

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sheesh @Faith-and-Hope you always have the best advice..and so kind and wise ..have butted heads with you in past with D3 etc's concerns.. I just stepped back.. for a change

@TAB

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no one can know me @Faith-and-Hope I am like the wind hahaha erk sorta ha

@Faith-and-Hope You don't trigger me at all. I get where you are at with the kids. It's such a fine line between teaching them that it isn't ok to be treated badly to having compassion and supporting someone you love who is treating you badly because of an undiagnosed MI or in my case a newly diagnosed MI. I think my kids would have been ok if the outcome had been different. I guess though that my kids haven't been angry at me over it, just him, that he didn't do the work to keep us together as a family too. My ex doesn't see it this way at all. As a side note I didn't get much support from ex's mum who also thought much of it was in my head as well. My ex also had very different circumstances which lead to it, his MI was born from CSA. I so wish I had a crystal ball for you but I think you have the most powerful thing on your side - faith and hope💜😊💐

@Former-Member

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