Sleeping too much

@TAB

The bright pics are lovely. @Former-Member

and still loved the tawney owl ... the main way I get to be a fowl .. is to stay up all night.

@Faith-and-Hope Sorry you had to deal with that ... blow up ... you have been an inspiration to a lot of us .. a family is not just the mother's responsibility .. it is up to all the individuals in it... but mum's usually carry more of that weight (tho not always).

if D3 is that aware .. maybe it is time to talk to WH about it ... to bring the family into a sense of authenticity ..

Some older women tell me they just have to hang on a bit more til the husband wakes up and realises what he has ...

@TAB its nice to fly like the wind without ties and be known and have a homey hearth.

You ok @Former-Member? 💜💐

Hi @Appleblossom

Thanks for your vote of support .... I hear what you're saying ....

Under psych's advice to not try to reach him .... it's likely at this stage to set him deeper into denial, making it harder for Drs to reach him when that time comes ....

Spent the first four years trying to get through to him, the last year of which it was just spiralling into worse behaviours .... taking our hands off it for the last 12 months has helped to stabilise us all .... but it means coming to terms with disengaging emotionally, and not expecting him to respond like his old self .... that guy is not with the program at the moment.

One of the worst aspects is lack of authenticity. It's really hard to "live a lie" as she said .... have to come to terms as individuals that it's a means to an end, and the only way to try to save ourselves from a much, much worse state of affairs. Everyone will know what was achieved in hindsight, and how difficult this walk has been.

D3 came for a walk with me after an hour or so, and is exhausted but far more settled tonight, She needs to get her head around new info I gave her today. Happening, I think ...

so he's mentally ill because he's left his family, yet keeps re appearing? is that what you are saying? @Faith-and-Hope

It's the eating disorder that is a mental illness @TAB .... it's not at all about the food itself .... it's the disordered emotional state that has shut down his personality inside somewhere and channeled itself into beating himself up using control issues with food and exercise as the means .... body dysmorphic ... lots of weights involved ....

A driving regimen of excessive exercise and disordered eating consumes his whole day and displaces communications, normal socialisation, ability to consider others, mood swings and over-reactions, controlling others with passive-aggressive behaviour, dysfunctional thinking, etc. Has undergone a personality change, but can turn on the old charm to impress others .... grrrr .... not authentic in reality.

We have experienced a few mild psychoses, but last year he was hammering our relationships to stop us from questioning his e.d. and trying to guide him towards intervention. Nothing was going to be able to hold up. The law protects him in this state until it becomes clearer how unwell he is. Waiting game.

The going away for business reasons is becaus he can't function properly here with us for long. He's like a rat in a cage, just needs to run on the wheel, and eat, sleep, and run again, trying to pretend everything is normal when it's anything but ....

Can hold semi-normal conversations and tries to align some of his "meals" with ours at times, so he can call it eating together .... but it's like living with an aggressive imposter.

Other behaviours I don't want to detail here .... can search c/s if you like .... and manorexia ....

what you lookin' at says furry creature with claws .. lol ,, why I love them maybe

ok he sounds normal then for midlife crisis dunno quite how to leave forever guy @Faith-and-Hope

@TAB

Thought it was a midlife crisis to begin with ... maybe that's what kick-started it.

Have been advised its probably not an e.d. alone .... likely another form of mi also present.

..dunno what e.d. is but you are the one dealing with it, and most people prob at least a bit 'mi' .. @Faith-and-Hope depends who's doing it to whom maybe