Sleeping too much

Sounds like that was a good day @Former-Member .... pruning those trees and taking a trailer-load to the tip is worth more activity than my 2 x 10min walks .... coffee shop and back with my Dad and lil sis who came to town for S2's 21st ....

Dad n sis go back tomorrow .... will be sorry to lose Dad's company .... and carer help with D2 .... but lil sis has personality issues and intellectual disability that make her oppositional and difficult .... can only handle short doses of her company ...

Having a chat with D1 and FSIL tonight .... their call ... so a bit apprehensive .... not sure what it's about ... wedding related ... but WH and FSIL are often on a collision course and have to maintain damage control ... apprehensive .... have to breathe ... take something for headache that hasn't left despite a long-ish nap.

Thanks for the tip re holding the body tense while out @Former-Member .... know it was meant for @Former-Member but think that was me at the lunch today .... taking your advice and deep breathing now.

Hey @Former-Member .... you're having a day ... great that you got to the soccer even if it wasn't the best form .... still got there for him ... and if that's all you managed for today, that's okay .... lower the bar a little and give yourself a ✅ where a ✅ is due ..... still learning to walk again Hun .... takes time and some wonky days .... recovery is uphill climbers and plateaux ... takes a while to realise your making headway and there's a bit of a view happening as you go ....

Keep "having a day" and running raids on something ... when you look back on it you will recognise your successes.

Back later ...

Hugs .... and needing some too ....

❤️💕

Hi @TAB ... 😏

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I like the mulberry tree image too @Former-Member .. we do need to feed our minds ..

Yep stretched out ... thats me

My pdoc of years ago .. said to my husband that I could do with a bit of stretching .. that was when my neck was still only intermittent ... hmmm ... .. I doubt he really got my situation at all ... for all his posturing and teaching others .. ??

Thanks for replying about my brother ... I gave brief .. direct email .. dont play "divide & conquer" and called him "bubs" and said he had better behave .. he said oops ... and I can kick him if he is bad ...he is used to being class clown MR positive and a big teaser ... he made a FEW BIG mistakes with me and my kids ... but I cant turn clock back ... told my son ... no pressure ... he can come for music and a feed with his uncle or not .. and I will understand either way ...

So still meeting up with brother on wednesday... when he comes to Melbourne for medical conference .. then he is in Sydney and in a week goes back to Germany. I am wondering if he will get to the end of the year ...

He and his wife were so ridiculously insulting about their great amount of money and my relative lack ... that it was ridiculous ... pathetic even ... I was not doing that badly .. we were living lower middle class .. and both of them were from working class backgrounds ... they just used my family situation ... to leverage off ... compare and contrast and boast about making money .. I did not give a damn .. I said I was "jealous" a few times almost because that is what they wanted to hear .. but there was no sting in it for me ... neither of them are happy with the money .. and it shows the limits of competitiveness ... I have always been self sufficient ... since 16 and left home ... he knows I dont want a piece of him ... I am fine ... dont need it ...

Its such a complicated situation with different upbringings .. but biological relationship ... For 30 years I invited him to lots of family events & hols ... from when girls were toddlers ...

@Former-Member it is revealing that .. the doc in your family ... is expressing an opinion that is not backed up by data and is outside of his area of expertise ... he is probably damaging a few patients by his assumptions.

Still hurts to be put down and cut off ... sorry I was too down last night to be able to cheer you up ... you cheerd yourself and US up. thanks.

Yes the marrying medicine or law ... thing seems to go to some people's heads ... they are the ones who need heads shrunk .. not us.

Thinking of you gardening ... sounds like a big job and a lot of work ... go gently

Apple

@Former-Member can you contain the flashbacks somehow ... label them ... address them ... but not let them eat into your soul ... wrap them up in butchers paper .. and your soul in cotton wool ... coat one with oil so that it CANT mix with the wateryness in your being

I know they are just mental tricks ... but you need to give yourself a rest from the sense of responsibility ... it is the kind of deep grief that will probably not go away .. which is what I came to realise about mine ... so its a management issue.

carve out a path that always returns you to the mulberry tree .. or some other good memory of her.

I just ate a really yummy meal .. extended my fennel salad with parmesan & cucumber

lemon chicken and zucchini ... and another couscous and vegie mix ...

cous cous saves doing another pot for pastaq or rice ... just lazy ... like its lightness.

I poked my head out the door .. yes the birdcall is lovely ..

still dark and cold .. time to sleep ..