Feeling really flat

Hey @Queenie hearing you, and want you to know that we're all here to listen and support you on the forums. You are resilient, and super strong - this will pass. You're allowed to cry, allow this moment for yourself

I showed my Mrs a red card meaning things are not going well. She ignored it. That makes me feel like I deserve not to be loved. I got through the afternoon with some maladaptive coping behaviours that I cannot discuss here but I’m hurting. First it was my dream of social work which was stripped from me, now this. It’s just too much! I don’t have much to offer except my brain (I was under this delusion that I was intelligent), now it appears my brain is where the problem lies.

This afternoon I wasn’t safe in myself. I guess now I’ve taken a teeny step back from the abyss. I just am numb. I’m crying but I think it is more about the embarrassment of being found out in reality I’m just an unintelligent charlatan.

Hi @Queenie I am Whitehawk, moderating this evening. I am sorry to learn that you are hurting at the moment and that you were not safe in yourself this afternoon. It sounds like a very tough patch you have been going through today. A teeny step back from the abyss sounds like a very important step for you, so well done, I am sure you have the strength and courage to take further steps to safety. And the intelligence too. please reach out to SANE if you need our support.

Whitehawk

I pretended I was asleep yesterday and overheard my Mrs and my MIL talking really rudely behind my back. My MIL already gets over half my pension each fortnight and now she wants $100 more. To do this, she wants me to cancel my health insurance (which means no more hospital or psychiatrist). She also wants me to be the first one awake and last one asleep because I snore. I’m heartbroken. I heard everything the two of them said. They thought I was asleep but I wasn’t. It’s all because I’m exhausted during the day for two reasons 1) my medication sedates me and 2) the cat keeps me awake at night (remember the MIL refused to allow us to shut our bedroom door so the cat can come in). I want to move out but every time I’ve mentioned it, the MIL throws a tantrum and threatens to harm herself. I feel stuck! Help!

Hi @Queenie

I am sorry you heard all that and you have to go through this.

I'm not sure what help I can be but wanted to know that I am listening.

My thoughts are with you

Snowie

Sending warm wishes @Queenie Hearing you and feeling for you.

Hi @Queenie I've been thinking of you and wondering how things are going for you. Here for you if you feel like talking some time. I'll always try to respond if you tag me, even if it's not straight away. Take care.