New to forum - struggling big time

Oh that sucks @Doglover

Hi @Zoe7 , will try again! Hopefully 3rd time lucky! Might break it up into smaller posts in case.

Yes i hate getting in trouble, or anyone being upset with me (part of my issues i guess) so made sure to read the guidelines so as hopefully not to do anything wrong!

Yes i hav a pdoc, 2 really, in the public system. They operate as a team, you see the senior consultant initially for diagnosis and treatment plan then the other pdoc after that. Mine was actually the other way round tho. I saw the normal pdoc first, he put me on a med that increases adrenaline after i told him i had alrdy bn put on a med that increases adrenaline and it had terrible effects, and i explained my long history of hypersensitivity to stimulants. This was supposed to be sedating but it wired me up like crazy. So when i saw the senior pdoc, who put me on this latest med, i explained all of the above to him and he put me on a med thats meant to b rly calming and works differently to ssri's/snri's but after 2 days of taking this med my anxiety is even worse and i feel like im going crazy. My head (physically), and mind/thoughts feels super super stimulated. The problem is, they tell me i have to perservere with these meds, how can i perservere when i feel like im going out of my mind??!!! The other 2 meds i took for 1 day each, that was enough, this one ive taken for 2. If i ring and tell them im having bad effects thr going to get rly annoyed and tell me i need to perservere. Or tell me its all in my head like my gp did ystrday. Its just so frustrating!!

Will post this before i lose it....

@Zoe7 The way the public system works, here anyway, is that you only see the pdoc every few weeks, even if u are at the beginning of treatment or changing meds. You have an ot assigned to you so you contact them if youre having any difficulties and they liaise with the pdoc. If they need to get you in they try and bring your appt forward. I asked for an appt a week later but they said no and made it for 3 weeks. I think im going to try going off this med for a few days (u can do that with this one, and have only been on it for a couple of days anyway) and see if things settle down. I mean, they will still be bad bcoz they were bad before taking this med, but i just feel like it made it worse. I just want to be on the road to recovery, not still in a mess and no better after 6 months. It is so frustrating and so difficult to bare! More. .

I know you said it took you a long time to get the right combo of meds - was that mainly due to side effects? Did you have more physical side effects, mental, or both? It sounds like your pdoc, and gp, were a little more sympayhetic to your plight than mine are. And now your finally on the right balance of meds for you? I just want to get to that place! I dont know how you coped for that 2 years, i rly dont. Bcoz im guessing for most of that 2 years you werent on the path of recovery but rather the path of trying differnt meds that didnt work/had bad side effects;, and likely the illness was uncontrolled throughout that time. Ive been in that place for 6 months, i cant imagine being in it for 2 years. Its amazing that you have come back from that to be able to live a somewhere close to normal functioning life! I hope i get to that place too - sooner rather than later!

Thanks again @Zoe7 for being with me thru this. Hugs and a big thank you. It means so much. I dont know how im going to get thru this if things dont change soon, i really dont. And i know you understand that despair more than most! X

I had so much support from on here @Doglover over those 2 years as well as from my support team. I cannot over over empathise enough how much support from the members here helped me though. Each day they encouraged and cared for how I wss doing. People here walked right beside me everyday and helped me get through hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. It really was that serious some days but knowing I had support meant the world to me. I also used the helpline a lot when there were things I could not write on here and that was invaluable also

I know you don't have the same level of support in your life that I had - I do wish you did - but we also need to work with what we have I suppose and maybe finding that psychologist that will listen to you and hear your fear and difficulties may help - I certainly hope so for you.

In the meantiime we are here for you - let the support of the communty help carry you through each day. I certainly hear your issues with your GP and pdoc and feel for you so continue to write here about how that all plays out and the effects it is having on you - it does not change what is happening but it can help to get it out.

hi @Doglover read thru your last posts, you poor old sausage you really are having a tough time of it. Sitting with you. It does sound like the side effects are pretty extreme for you.

I trialled meds for about 12 months before getting the right doses & meds. I've recently increased my night meds because some pain has returned which my meds had cleared up previously. The main problem with the meds I trialled unsuccessfully was that they gave no symptom relief - I had nighmarish psychotic symptoms acompanied by rage that I couldn't cool down. I was extremely angry when the meds gave no relief. I finally got an anti-psychotic that worked but then my GP told me it would likely cause diabetes, exessive weight gain & cholesterol so high it'd require medication. So I asked for a change, the new one worked but I couldn't sleep at all & my pain came back & I got an acute injury very quickly. So then I needed something to help me sleep. There was also the problem of low mood & irritability which my meds now help quite well tho there is a risk of gum recession so I've asked me dentist to keep an eye on that. Phew! It's a lot of work!

Sitting with you @Doglover , hang in there & tell us how you're going

I really sympathise with having a fast & overstimulated mind. My mind can be very out of control with dark, angry thoughts and it drives me nuts.

Checking in to see how you are doing today @Doglover

Lovely to see @BryanaCamp offering her support here also - Hi @BryanaCamp 👋

Hi @Zoe7 ,

You really were so blessed to have all that support, as absolutely horrible all that you went through was. I do appreciate coming on here and knowing people understand, and your support in particular has been much appreciated. I think its hour by hour for me too at the moment, rather than day by day, and sometimes minute by minute! It sure is a tough road. But you and many others have navigated it and come out the other side better for it and living a functioning life, so i really hope that will be the outcone for me too.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. I am finding the lack of professional support difficult, but i appreciate the support i receive here. I just hope my pdoc will listen to me and not just get annoyed at me and blame me when i tell him i stopped the latest med after 2 days. But how can they expect you to persist with a med when it makes you so much worse to the point of feeling like your going crazy! I took the new med on tues and weds nights, weds and thurs were noticeably worse, even my husband noticed that i was worse. So i stopped taking it. I am slightly better today. But rly hav a long way to go and just hope and pray that the right medication/outcome will come to pass soon.

Thanks again @Zoe7 , i appreciate you. 💙

Hi @BryanaCamp ,

Thanks so much for being in touch and sharing. Yes the side effects suck, but its all in my mind apparently! I dont know why they think its all in my mind when so many other ppl have side effects to meds too that causes them to discontinue, its not like im the only one!

It sounds like youve had a really tough time with getting the right meds too - it seems to be a very common thing. It sounds like you have been through so much! Im so glad you are doing better now. I look forward to the day when im on the right medication/s for me and things are balanced and im not living with extreme anxiety every waking moment of the day and night!

I have a lot of pain too - what is yours from if you dont mind me asking? I have severe fibromyalgiia but i have noticed that the worse my anxiety and related symptoms are, the more pain i am in, especially my neck and shoulders, they can be excruciating! So your med actually helps with that? Thats good to know, will mention to pdoc.

Yes my mum is on an antipsychotic that has all those effects you mentioned, its probably the same one. Unfortunately she has to be on it as its the one that works for her.

Yes my mind is overstimulated constantly at present, from the moment i start to wake up in the morning to the moment i go to sleep at night. And have found the sleep med isnt working nearly as well as it used to so there's that many more waking hours in the day that i have to endure the symptoms!

Im not due to see my pdoc for another 3 weeks but as this med hasnt worked, i am not on any long term med to treat the anxiety so plan to ring monday and try and get in sooner. Still not overly confident tho coz thrs nothing to say the next med will do the job without intolerable side effects! Anyway, just gotta keep trying i guess!

Well take care @BryanaCamp and thanks so much for your support.

Sorry if theres half of this post and the full one, the screen moves around all the time on my phone so can be pressing in one spot and it goes to a completely different spot! Hence posts get posted when im not ready for them to be posted!