New to forum - struggling big time

Hi @Doglover and welcome to the forum

Despite what brought you here to us it is nice that you have found us. This is a wonderful community of many different and varied people that all support each other. There are many people here who have some form of anxiety and many people that can relate to that sense of always being on edge and not being able to function properly because of it.

It is good that you are seeing a gp and psychiatrist but noot so great that it hasn't helped you a lot so far. Would seeing a psychologist to talk through some of what you are going through also be an option? Sometimes a combination of talking and meds can hel more than one in isolation.

Take a look around the forum, read a few posts/threads and jump in to conversations where and when you feel okay to do so. You will find the members here caring and compassionate and only too willing to support you.

If you have any questions then feel free to tag me and I will do my best to answer them - or point you in the right direction to someone else that can.

Again - welcome to the forum and I hope you find the support you are seeking here

Hi @Doglover and welcome. Lots of us can relate to your troubles with anxiety. I have other diagnoses but the anxiety is the most crippling (something not often acknowledged I think).

What kind of dog do you have? I have a lab-cross-golden. Basically imagine a golden head on a lab, and that’s her. She’s my lifeline 🙂

I also wanted to respond to you mention of being Christian. I was raised in in an evangelical protestant family (my father was a pastor). It took me a long time to find a way to an authentic spirituality that embraced all of who I am, including a person who lives with MI. This post isn’t the place to explain all of that but I wanted to just encourage you. God / the Divine is the Suffering Christ as much, if not more than the triumphant. If a person or organisation doesn’t recognise that then maybe they’re less near to Him/Her than you are.

peace,

Rayne

Hi @Zoe7 ,

Thanks so much for your reply and support.

My extreme anxiety started 5 months ago and hasnt let up since. Originally my gp was treating me but nothing worked so she referred me to a psychiatrist in the public system. Things can be very slow! I have been put on 2 different meds but despite me telling them i am hypersensitive to stimulants, the meds they put me on both increased adrenaline in the body. Go figure! Both times i took 1 and that was it. Have an appt on monday with a different psych, am hoping the outcome of this will be more successful as this is becoming very difficult to take. Am also seeing gp this week for referral to psychologist. Only problem is i feel like the anxiety is too extreme at present to get much benefit from it. But i could be wrong - im quite new to all this! Hence still trying to come to terms with it.

Its nice to be able to come on here and be open. I find it hard with some of those closest to me, they dont understand MI and in some cases, dont really want to understand.

Im sure many on this site experience the same.

Thanks again for your support.

Doglover

So pleased to hear you have an appointment to a different pdoc coming up @Doglover and that hopefully this one can help you. It took me nearly 2 years of multiple med changes to get to a position when they actually worked and the side effects were minimal. I am currently taking a lot of different meds but the combination of them all work - some are for the side effects of others lol Medication is tricky for most of us but if you are particularly sensitive then that makes it just that little bit harder. I hope this new pdoc listens and can help you out.

As for seeing a psychologist - you will only know once you try - it may not be the right time for you but give it a go - you may even find that it helps. I currently only see my psychologist every couple of months - she is amazing but I don't need the therapy as I once did but that has been as a result of a lot of support from my GP, pdoc and psych over the last couple of years.

As for those closest to you not understanding MI - that is something many here also experience. It certainly makes it harder if those closest to you cannot be of support - and that is where having a good team around you really does help ...and of course us here to talk to when you need to as well.

Happy that you have found us but wish for you that it wasnt under the circumstances that you connected here ...but we get it and you have our support

Hi @-Rayne-,

Thank you for your reply and support.

Does anybody ever recover from severe anxiety, to the point of being able to live a relatively normal functioning life? Thats one of the things im really scared of, that this is it, that im not going to get better, that i wont be able to live a normal life again. So many people seem to struggle their whole lives with anxiety and not get better, even with meds, therapy etc. Its a thought that really scares me. Do you know people, on this forum or otherwise, that live functional lives with an anxiety disorder? Who dont live with constant anxiety?

Labs/goldens are gorgeous. I have a bitsa - border collie/kelpie/staffy, so cute, full of cheek. Love her to bits!

I am a bible believing Christian - its really hard to reconcile MI with my faith. Especially with all that the Bible says about not fearing, trusting God etc. I know there are some that see it as a simply a lack of faith and trust in God. I guess this is where the difference comes in between people's views of MI versus physical illness. If i had diabetes people wouldnt be saying i just need to trust God more. Its such a shame mental illness has such a stigma attached, in all circles of life. I guess thats why places like this are so important.

Anyway, ive ranted enough! Thanks again for welcoming me and for your encouragement.

Thanks @Zoe7 for sharing some of your story with me. 2 years is a long time! How did you cope in that time? Was your main issue anxiety? Aas it severe? Were you able to work? Ive been off work for 5 months and at the moment they are holding my job open for me, but scared that will change! And thats one of my concerns, that it could take a year or two or more to get this stabilised, or not at all! Would you say you live a normal functioning life now? So hoping to get some encouragement that i will be able to live a 'normal' life again!

You said you had a lot of support from your psychiatrist and psychologist - do you mind me asking if you were public or private? I am in the public system, as i guess most are, and dont find this system very supportive at all.

I have asked a lot of questions - sorry! Please only answer them if you are comfortable to. I apologise if my questions are at all invasive.

Thanks again!

Ask as many questions as you need @Doglover especially if it helps you feel less alone in all this.

Anxiety was only one of the things I was dealing with but depression and CPTSD were just as prominent. I was off work for just over 2 years but am now back 4 days a week. My journey has been a really hard one over those couple of years including a couple of suicide attempts and many, many days of thinking there was no point and I would never be okay in any way, shape or form ...but here I am - working, getting through each day with a lot of positives and looking forward to what is to come next in my life.

I had exceptional support from my GP - I saw her nearly every day for the first 6 months or so and when I didn't see her she would call or text me - it certainly was exceptional support. I had the same support from my psychologist - could call her anytime and she always got back to me super quickly. It took a while to get in to see the pdoc but again once I did her support was amazing. My GP was in regular contact with my psych and pdoc as well so everyone was on the same page ...and I had amazing support from the helpline counsellors from SANE and the wonderful members here. I consider myself very lucky to have had the amazing support I have had over the last couple of years but one thing I can guarantee for you is that you will not be alone here

Your story brought tears to my eyes @Zoe7. I am so sorry for the incredibly hard road that you have been through, but what an inspirational story you now have. Before i first posted on this site, i joined up and just hung out, read some posts/threads etc for a couple of weeks, and i remember how supportive you were in so many of the posts i read, and how many people appreciated and valued you and your support. I can see why! To know your story, where you have come from to where you are now, is so encouraging, and its so good of you to share it for the benefit of others.

I, like you were, am so so scared that this is it for me, that i will never get better, especially with the concerns i have around sensitivity to ingredients in medications. I feel like my whole world has come crashing down around me. Im no longer the same person i was, i am just doing my best to get thru each moment of each day. My husband, who i love dearly and vice versa, does not understand MI and finds the whole thing very frustrating, no doubt because he cant just 'fix it' or i wont just 'snap out of it'. I am not the same person he married, and our life is so different to what it was because of the state that i am in, i am so scared of the effect of this on our marriage. And i dont know what to do to help him understand that MI is a real thing, just like a physical illness, and that i cant just snap out of it or will myself better. As a result, i dont feel i can talk to him about it, about how im feeling, my struggles etc. He has no idea that at the moment, pretty much every moment of the day is torture for me, and i find that really hard.

In regard to support, wow, you had amazing support. I certainly dont have that support from my gp - she can be quite harsh and hard at times. I dont have a psychologist yet, and dont have 1 psychiatrist yet either - the person i saw last week, is different to the person il be seeing on monday. I think he will be the person i see going forward so i just hope he is good. I would certainly love to have the support you had, not that that diminishes what you went through in any way. I didnt realise SANE had counsellors so thanks for leting telling me - thats good to know.

Well, ive prattled on enough. Thank you so much for sharing some of your journey with me and i am so glad that your life is in so much of a better place. It gives me hope that maybe one day (hopefully sooner rather than later) i can live a normal life again too. That is my hope and prayer.

Thank you again! Your support is very much appreciated.

Hello @Doglover and welcome to the forum. I hope you find some support her to feel heard. Take care MummaMia

Just like many others here @Doglover sharing parts of our journeys is easy in such a supportive environment. I have had incredible support from members here over the last couple of years and it really has made a massive difference to me - that is the power of this community - and now you are part of that and I hope will have the same amount of support.

I think it is great that you read a bit before you joined up - gives you a sense of how things work and the way everyone supports each other. Feel free to jump into threads/conversations when you feel comfortable to do so and get to know some other members as you work your way around.

I fully understand that feeling of 'this is it - there is no more for me' but I think my story is proof that it is possible to get through and get to something better again. I never thought I would get back to work and I really had lost any hope that I could come out the other side functioning more than just surviving each day/ I still struggle sometimes to get through the days but I do have more good days than not good and that continues to improve. From where I have come from to now is a world apart. I did not want to face each day, I felt that I was better off not being 'pasrt of this world' and many days I honestly wished I was not alive - so to get to where I am now is huge. It did take a lot of work to get here though - and it was definitely not an easy road ...a lot of therapy, a lot of redefining who I was, a lot of putting the past in the past and a lot of accepting that living in the moment is all we can really do. I still find all those things really difficult to do but continue to work on them all and I can honestly say that has changed my outlook in a massive way. ANother thing I have done is to accept that there is going to be bad days but not to dwell on them too much becuse they will pass.

In respect to your husband - it might be a good idea for you both to see a counsellor/psychologist but maybe after you have seen one yourself for a little while. Often getting that validation from a counsellor is good for both parties. Your husband wouold no doubt be feeling a range of feelings also - it is hard for others in a relationship to know what to do to help when they don't understand what is happening - and that is even harder I suspect when you also don't really know what is happening. You are stuck in a difficult situation there yourself and if you can't explain it to yourself you certainly can't explain it to your husband ...that is where a good therapist can help.

SANE has a helpline - both phone and chat - where counsellors can provide support and referral to services in your area. I used the service a lot when I was at my worst and they were amazing support. Sometimes there are things you need to talk about that you cannot write on the forum and that is when the helpline comes in handy - it is not a counselling service as such but a great support when you need a little extra help.