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Asking for help

Asking for help

Hello, new here. Trying to keep it short and not an essay so..

New mum, four month old boy. No support or family. Hubby moved interstate soon after son was born due to job. I recently moved to be with him. We are all alone here. New city never been here so it’s all new and lonely.

Getting worse for the past week I think of no longer wanting to live but I know I’m my son’s whole world. I will keep living, just hate the thoughts.

Not happy at all and dont even know why, can’t pin point a specific reason. Faking it and keeping it all to myself not even hubby knows anything. I cry days and nights. Some days are ok some are really bad. Seems to alternate every second day at the moment. Some days the first half is fine then second half is crap.

Too scared to ask for help or see a GP or health nurse which is what I know people will suggest. Any tips or how to overcome this.

Will most likely continue going on living unhappily and feeling very down and hope for the best that this will disappear. Is that possible?

37 replies

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In response to: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Thanks for the tag @Former-Member ....

@Vee- I will be back a bit later, when I have settled my crew for the evening, to see if I can help at all.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

thanks for the tag @Former-Member

Hello @Vee- and welcome to the forum

with my story @Vee-

I had my own business , when we got married , I gave up my business

I found myself married , in a new house , with 4 step children and no car and with my husband working 40 kms away everyday , I found it hard

like you inbetween I would cry and I could not understand why

this is a big step for you , and you need to take a step at a time my friend

can I say to keep talking to us for support , you are not alone and we are here for you

turning a house into a home takes time , also give yourself "Me time " too

any questions please ask

@Former-Member, @CheerBear , @Serenity1 , @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Hi @Vee- 👋 .... I’m back .... and I can see you have been receiving support from others here already, which is great.

Welcome to the forums.

I was ready to suggest PANDA, and I learned about them through others posting here. @Former-Member has suggested it already, and I am glad you called them.

A lot of what you are feeling is normal to having a new baby, including feeling resentful when your hubby is not helping. A baby is full-on, and there is plenty he can do to help with even little things, but most importantly, healing you to feel loved, respected, and as though you are doing a good job. Parenting is hard, and we need positive feedback to support our self esteem.

Not having the car will certainly be contributing to your feelings of being isolated, that’s for sure .....

Hopefully we can help a bit with that. One of the best things about finding the forums for me was suddenly feeing like I wasn’t alone in the problems I was faced with. There are real people on the other side of your computer screen, and we care about what you are going through.

And there are are people around day and night, so log on when you can and chat about how you’re feeling. Many parents here can relate to what your struggles are.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

I’m not sure if anyone has tagged @Former-Member and if they still respond here. I just noticed @PANDA isn’t available anymore so I’m not sure. Perhaps @Former-Member or @Former-Member or @s-jay could let us know if that forum connection still exists.

Hoping they have got back to you @Vee- . It’s really hard when you are so isolated with a little one. I hope you find great support and soon.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Thanks I’ve given up on seeking help for now. It’s easier to live like this than seek help. I’m just terrified. I think PANDA called but I didn’t answer it because I was scared I don’t know why. Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully when I’m ready or hoping this goes away on its own eventually. Thanks anyway

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Just a final update I picked up their call after they called me again when I didn’t pick up. We scheduled to chat tomorrow because it wasn’t a good time when she called. I really don’t know what to say but I guess I will just start off with that and go from there. Thanks again

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Hi @Vee- 👋

That’s great.

Do you want to check back in afterwards and let us know how you got on ?

Only if you want to.

And only as much detail as you’re comfortable sharing.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Hey @Teej - thanks for flagging, I will just follow up with PANDA to check in on their profile. It will be dependant on staffing and resourcing for sure.

@Vee- it is really great to see you trying to work through that fear here - everyone is here for you and it's all about taking each step, no matter how big or small. You are very brave and doing so well to have set up a phone chat. Keep us posted.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Well done @Vee- . I really hope it goes/went ok. The starting to reach out for support is the hardest part. It will get easier.

@Former-Member Thanks for that. Wondering if you can let us know what the outcome is when you know please.

In response to: Re: Asking for help

Re: Asking for help

Chatted to PANDA today when they rang me. Was a good phone call then they emailed a bunch of GPs and support places/numbers. Don’t know if I will do anything with it but that’s where I’m at now. They will call me back in a week to check in but nothing will have changed.

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