Asking for help

Hi @Vee- ,

I know you mentioned that you are too scared to ask for help, but you have been very brave to reach out here! It is not easy sharing what we are struggling with, especially when we are feeling alone. All the peers here will be so glad you did reach out.

Sounds like a lot of change has happened for you. You mentioned not wanting to go to a GP so what about some really great phone lines that can be helpful? These have counsellors that you can speak to about what's going on or help connect you to support you may otherwise have been a bit nervous to try. There are also some great fact sheets that you might like. Just going to leave some here as an option.

Beyondblue 1300 22 4636

PANDA (perinatal anxiety and depression Australia) 1300 726 306

Meanwhile - its great to have you sharing more here. Would it be helpful to find some social supports in your area? Is there a parenting group nearby? There is also a lovely thread called The Virtual Village - a space for parenting stuff which you might like to check out and chat to other memebers who are parents and living with their own mental health challenges. You may also enjoy some of the more social threads like Good Morning or Friday Feast to get to know others here 😊

Hi @Vee- and welcome to the forum. Really sorry to hear that things are hard at the moment. It can be difficult to adjust to the changes that come with having a baby, and moving interstate could make that so much harder.

I really recommend calling PANDA as Lauz suggested. They are very understanding of these challenges and so supportive. Another option for phone support is Parentline in your state. You can find details here.

I know you said you're keeping things to yourself, which I totally understand doing as it can be really hard to open up, but do you think your husband would be supportive if you were able to speak with him about what you're going through?

Mother and baby groups and playgroups can be great for helping you connect with others which may ease some of that loneliness you're experiencing as well as connect you with others who may be experiencing similar issues. Libraries also often have groups even for really little ones and their parents. Even if you don't feel up to socialising, sometimes getting out of the house and being around others in any way can reduce the isolation that many new parents (myself included when I was a new mum) experience. Being here on the forum is another great source of connection that helps many (again including myself here) with loneliness.

Other than those options, are there things you enjoy doing with your son or on your own? Anything that gives you enjoyment or feels good is helpful in shifting some of those not so nice thoughts and feelings.

It might seem really hard right now but you definitely don't have to go on living unhappily and hoping for the best. Keep reaching out and asking for help when you can - it's worth it (I think).

Hope to 'see' you around

@CheerBear @Serenity1 @Former-Member thank you for pointing me to some help, I never heard of some of those. Anyway I’m waiting for PANDA to call me back. Still nervous don’t know what I will say but hopefully just getting the call helps a little. I hope they can help, I’m very skeptical that anyone can help. Will wait and see, fingers crossed.

@Former-Member thanks but I think you read it wrong. I am with hubby now and no family or support as we are now away from our home state where all our family are. I also don’t have a car because hubby takes that to work so I’m just all lonely and stranded at home. No public transport here. It’s not a big major city.

I did the PANDA questionnaire which told me I should seek help and then I clicked the send form option for them to view and to call me back. Still waiting on that which is fine because I’m kind of dreading it.

Im pretty sure the main problem is my hubby. Nothing has changed for him after the baby. He has it so lucky. I do everything with regards to the baby. I sleep with baby and hubby in his own separate room. His sleep pattern hasn’t changed whereas mine obviously has. I think it just bothers me that he doesn’t know how much harder it is for me and maybe I kind of resent him that he can still sleep whenever and wake whenever and that he continues living life as how it was for him pre-baby.

Hi @Vee- sounds like you're disappointed in your hubby's lack of involvement. This is the case so often. They just don't know what to do i think... need promoting. Can U talk about it when the atmosphere is right and he's not tired, tell him how you feel & how he can help. Keep sharing here, maybe @CheerBear @Ch@@@@ will be back soon@Faith-and-Hope, or @Shaz51 @ so many mummas here. It's hard with new baby, but it does get better 💙🤗