Hey @Former-Member
It's wee hours of the morning; had bad thoughts in bed so I made a cuppa. Trying to force myself to sleep is more exhausting than staying up. So here I am...
It seems you've got yourself in a tither again hun. It doesn't take much to set you off hey. I'm wondering if you're a jealous type or a competitive type. I'm more the latter. To be honest, I don't think there's much difference between the two.
I'm sorry I haven't responded before now. I wish I had've seen these posts earlier; I maybe could've slowed the bell curv effect from escalating. You must admit, reading each one and seeing the progressive change that's occurring is a bit of a concern. The level of anger you express towards women especially.
You asked a couple of questions earlier that gives some insight into your confusion about that elusive gap between the sexes. They're a really normal response to rejection; for men and women alike. We've all been there I can assure you.
My life has been full of situations and events that would curl your hair, and if you knew, (which I'd never do to you) you might find some sense of understanding that both genders struggle with self esteem, confidence and being liked. It's how we cope (or don't) that makes us stand out from the crowd.
I'm sorry you feel so deeply emotional about your quest for love and companionship. Reality's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, I get that. Knowing your crush is now unattainable would be a huge let-down. I'm not surprised you're upset about it.
What concerns me more though, is how things escalate into blind rage that's aimed outward and then toward yourself. I feel it's something to work on with your psychologist or psychiatrist as soon as you settle and get the chance.
I hope you're ok and haven't done anything silly. You know I care just as your loved ones obviously do, but there's a limit to what we can achieve from the outside looking in.
You're an intelligent and vibrant young man who's admired by others; you've said so yourself. So wherever this is coming from is inside you. I'm not going to tell you to love youself because that's a last-ditch effort for frustrated counsellors. I will say though, the only person on this planet you can truly count on, is you. Without you in your corner, just as I'm being now, what will life be like?
I'd like to suggest a couple of movies that may give you better perspective on your perceived situation. The first is called; 'Me Before You' and the other's called; 'Breathe'. Oddly they're both made in the UK. Europe's so much better at drama than the Yanks. :face_with_rolling_eyes:
Apart from the aspects I'm asking you to observe, they're bloody well made movies, so you should enjoy them whether you get the gist of what I'm saying or not.
Take care till next time young one;
Hope 
👵
