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New diagnosis

New diagnosis

Hi all

My husband has had a diagnsis of major dpression only weeks ago, i have been trying to get him to some kind of help for about a year. Luckily he finally agreed to go to counselling with me & the psychologist picked it up. Took me another month to get him into a GP's office, where hes now being treated for a sleeping disorder with anti depressants.

I feel we really need to get him to a proper psych assessment & I'm giving him a referral form for an assessment to take to his next weekly GP appointment. Even if is a second opinion & the psychiatrist totally agrees with everything. The counsellor & myself think that Bipolar II is still on the table & the GP has only seen him in depression, not up & hasn't even talked to me. hes crashed a car which i found outwas not insured 7 then went & bought another that we dont need while it was in the shop.

As things are getting clearer slowly I have looked back in a dairy where I was so confused I started keeping a diary of his behaviour before i asked him to leave for a weekend after I found out he'd gone out of the marraige for "someone who listens". I have found that back in May he did talk of being in a bad place & not knowing how he didn't go to our local bridge & just jump off.

Now hes been refusing to come back, which to be homest is not a bad thing in the short term as I don't have to deal with his anger, blame & on medication rapid mood swings. I almost think his up is worse than his down. At the moment he has a down for a few hours in the middle of the day & has to walk around the block to get thru what is about a couple of hours feeling like that.

We are still in counselling once a week & he is turning up. i had to get medicated myself once i asked him to leave & that will go to Xmas. I'm getting stronger & negotiating his behaviour to come home (I ned to hear him tell the other woman that he wont see or communicate with her out of the office as hes said its over more than once).I've gone from crying 4 times a week due to his behaviour & anger and having to take sleeping medication to getting upset on the weekends & turning to do something for me.

We date on the weekends but at the moment most weekends something "goes wrong" & he doesn't turn up for the whole or part of that time.

Is there any way to get him to a psych assessment without a GP referral? I have told him that i feel we are in a bad or unsafe place I will need to make the call to our nearest emergency department which has a psychiatric emerency centre too but i wont do that unless I really need to & if hes not with me with the phone off i might not know.

Everything is a daily rollercoaster, i feel as tho I'm hanging on by my fingernails & jsut as I decide I can't hold on any more we take a tiny step forward!

83 replies

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In response to: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Yes, she was a wonderful inspiration to me as my writing mentor when I wrote my book Wings of Madness. She's my hero too.

In response to: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

I know how you feel. My wife was diagnosed with Schizophrenia last year and I have to constantly remind myself that she has an illness. It makes for a difficult marriage, but be patient. Some times acceptance is letting things be as they are, not what you desire them to be. As spouses we took oath to love and care for our partners no matter what. My advice is to be careful - depression is cruel and as you point out selfish, but it's also a calling that something needs to change. If you can, let your husband discover what that is for himself and be the gentle hand when he needs it. I have had depression myself and it was a long road to recovery - trust me. All the best.

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Great advice Bre78!

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

I've been looking your book up, ready to order for next Thursday.
I'm in 'impressed of Jo mode.'

In response to: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Called the financial counsellor 2 days ago - basically do what I'm doing & try to put anything I can away as we don't know what's coming next. Joint counselling last night - he's had some down days, is not on anti depressants, is in remission, has not filled physical health medication prescriptions so has gone with out for a few days & is feeling the affects. If he was feeling well he claims he would have been on a plane to buy something he is passionate about which costs at least 6 weeks salary for him - apparently the money will be coming from future jobs, we already have 3 of these items one of which he has bought since being diagnosed and out of the house. Body corporate bill due today & the card is overdrawn. I ended up calling the GP.

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Thanks Just another.....:-)

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Sending you Love and Strength Mrs. C. ❤️

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

Me too Mrs C.
I'm thinking good thoughts about you but it feels that his major issue is that he needs that stability in his life......by this I mean that he does the talking to Mrs C, he clearly needs Mrs C in his life........,
Am I right ?

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

I hope so 🙂

In response to: Re: New diagnosis

Re: New diagnosis

I only think you can answer.".....
can you think."......
what 'structure,' has he learnt from you??

for instance; let's think of a film where a man needs his woman to give him ideas how to live......
Let's think of the common story.......something like , 'As Good As It Gets,' starring Jack Nicholson.
in the film, he is a famous novelist who is extremely rude to everyone he meets plus he is struggling with a 'disorder,' that hehalf heatedly tries to get help with. but he only starts taking medication, once he realises a woman acted by Helen Hunt is showing a slight interest in him.

in your relationship. Can you think of times where also your husband has shown he needs or he is showing improvement evens utterly because of you? it could be something little like Jack Nicholson getting to a stage where he doesn't have to avoid the cracks on the pavement.
61 - 70 of 83