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Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Living and loving someone with MI presents relationship challenges and often others cannot see why we chose to stay with our partners.

Being mindful of not intruding on others stories I thought having a thread where we can share tips and encourage one another would be of value.

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In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Hi @Former-Member ... yep 👍 they are fun and really lovely - they even cooked dinner for us last night - fried rice !! .. we r out at our family holiday house now playing scrabble and relaxing yay !! ... I'm exhausted tho as was up at 4.30am as they decided they wanted to go to the markets arriving at the markets at 6am!!

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Hi @Mrsjones

How are you going?

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Hello and hugs @Former-Member , @Sophie1 , @Carlachris , @Mrsjones , @Mrsjones

Remembering when pur lives had missed exch other

And joined together years later xxxx

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Ha ha sorry @Former-Member me shaz and I was saying we just missed each other years ago but met up again years later xxxx

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Ships in the night? @Shaz51 🛳️⛵.

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Hello @Bobkat

It is so very hard when our partners find the going so rough that it impacts upon their ability to cope with work. Is your husband able to do much around home to help?

In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

@Mrsjones

How are things going with you and yours?

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Yes, he can and does - he is keeping busy with jobs like refurbishing our deck. We just need to keep it to tasks round the house and garden that don't require spending too much money, which is a bit limiting.

Nevertheless, I am grateful he is up and active. In previous times when things got bad, he might stay in his room for days, crying and sleeping. It is a much better sign that he is keeping busy and not dwelling on everything spinning in his head

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Has he given up work before @Bobkat or is this a new thing?

In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

Yes, he's done this 3 or 4 times over the years. At the time, he feels something about the job is bad for him. Generally after a break, sometimes with counselling he also gets the perspective on it that his anxiety has created some of the tension/issues.

Then things are fine for a while, this time 3 years. A new manager just started at his work and she has an abrupt style which he finds confrontational. There are others there who are much more supportive though, so there is good with the bad. He is off on sick leave but that'd about to run out and he tells me he should decide today whether to resign or not. We both fear that, if he returns, he'll start shouting at people. That would be even worse than just leaving abruptly. It's so hard seeing him so unhappy....

I read this, which I fouind interesting:

"Sometimes people get into patterns of coping with anxiety that cause it to snowball. They overthink (ruminating about the past or worrying about the future), avoid whatever triggers their anxiety, and use compensatory strategies—like being extremely perfectionist to avoid feeling like an imposter at work—that decrease their anxiety temporarily but increase it over the long-term."

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