Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

@SJT63 You do sound very tired.....it is like a running battle isn't it. With me it's more compassion fatigue. I have been taken to the brink of my own mental health trying to be his EVERYTHING But he keeps moving the goal Posts.
Husband and wife tag team ,Jenga.......All the supports offered a few weeks ago from services have NOT materialized as I knew would happen. The Gaps are Gapeing holes that mental health keeps falling through. I'm still here hanging on by a thread. Day by day.
I wish I could come and make you a cuppa and we could sit as non Mentally ill people and have a conversation about realatively mundane things and eat cakes....lol. I have to remind myself from time to time......"Hey I don't have a mental illness he does" we take on so much sometimes don't we.
Maybe it's time you asked for a bit of respite for yourself and he goes home for a few weeks to his own unit and deals with his own reality of tree gate and pests etc....you can recover your strength. I can thoroughly recommend it. It's tough being consumed by MI......... that's what happens.
Big hugs sounds like you need a bit of time being just you and not the gate keeper.

ohhh Hugs @Carlachris , @SJT63 , @TideisTurning , @Faith-and-Hope , @bipolarbunny

i ammmm feeeling very tird tonight my awesome friends xoxoxo

@Carlachris

how goes it?

We are ok at mine right now.

@Shaz51 What's happening? Is it just the day today groundhog existence we are all living? Or like me are the batteries low? I think I need Solar power but it just won't stop raining. Another week ahead of pouring rain but at least today has been beautiful. 🌼

wow @Carlachris you are having rain my friend

hot and sunny up here , telling us that summer is coming

Hello @SJT63 , @TideisTurning , @Faith-and-Hope

@SJT63 We are ok as well. The meds have finally kicked in and hubby is realizing how dreadfully ill he has been. Having everything in a Webster pack has been a big success. The services are slipping away but he is still for now being treated as an outpatient. That will be the next big step forward but so far for now I have my lovely husband back again and reasonably stable. All psych services seem to be on the phone now and we can access that where ever we end up so we have made the decision to retire. Life is too short.
We have some big things coming up in the next 6 mths like selling the house and moving further out of the metropolitan to regional but it's what we need to do. Our town has been ruined by the crisis never to be the same again for both our peace of minds we are moving further out. For now and hopefully the future we will begin again.
feelings are optimistic first time in a very very ling time.
big hugs everyone who needs them. 🌷🌼🌷

How can I get my partner to care more? Pay attention even??

Hello to all the new people I haven't met before.
@Doreen Since my husband has been on medication he has stabilised and is less anxious and depressed. He can now look back on his pre medicated self and he wonders why he resisted medication all these years. He has also become more aware of how his MI impacted on me. Before meds he was too self absorbed and in self preservation mode to notice the impact his behaviour had on me. Even though he liked me to be vulnerable I could never be, because I needed to be his rock. Consequently I got used to not crying and being self sufficient. This became my normal. On a recent trip to the emergency department (my heart was playing up) I got hubby to drop me off at the hospital. He offered to stay but I said I didn't need him to stay. So he went back to work. His work colleagues couldn't believe he didn't stay with me. Like I said I've got so used to being the strong one I thought staying with me at the hospital was wasting his time. Anyway that's a long winded way of saying MI can be very selfish.

@Carlachris I hope the move goes well. It sounds like an exciting way to commence retirement.

@Scoo hi, it's been awhile since I have posted. We have been getting our entire lives back on track after a major 3 yr unmedicated complete selfish episode of MI. My husband finally collapsed and went back on meds. Hopefully never to be without them again. Basically we are too old now for all that happened. He is 68 I am 59
Looking back he has massive regrets and can see for himself the selfishness of MI and all that it took from us. In the end I had to beg for help and abandon him to the services before the mania that was destroying us could be contained. He is well now and I managed not to collapse but the exhaustion is still with me.
Sometimes unfortunately it takes a crisis to start life on the right path again. And boy did we go through that door.
I recently had pneumonia and spent 2 nights in hospital. Husband was completely lost but couldn't visit due to Covid rules. He realized a few things without me being his everything 24/7. It was like an awakening as to the destruction his MI had been causing. He has an illness and I don't blame him for anything but I will never allow myself to be taken to the brink of my own mental health again. Boundaries need to remain in place around the selfishness created by MI.
We are Picking up the pieces of the long haul and we didn't give up but were only one small step from total abandonment. Hindsight is such a difficult place to get too but definitely healing. Love has to be strong to survive.
Hope you have weathered the storm that is your own physical health and the tears have stopped. I remember those days of endless crying Loneliness and surviving. I no longer cry everyday but have my moments.
gentle hugs.