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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

whats up? @Former-Member whats happening?

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Nobody here wants you to go away. And I know I havent posted here in a while, but I am reading and supporting your posts. Its difficult for me to do much more than that right now. I care though .. very much. And wish I could do or say more to support you better.

You sound pretty fed up with things tonight. Anything in particular bring this on, or is there anything you would like to talk about?

How is your garden going? I actually thought fondly of you as I planted out some vege seedlings into a wheelbarrow. How is little Georgia?

Sherry 💕

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member,
I am not sure what's going on for you there but it sounds as though you might be feeling left out of things a bit. I'm not sure exactly what you were referring to when you referred to being "flagged here". Maybe it wasn't forum interactions that are bothering you but rather something that's going on in the rest of your world?

If you or any other member is experiencing difficulties with interactions on the forums then we encourage you to contact the forums team via email: team@saneforums.org so that we can support you with this. Take care EOR.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Former-Member @Former-Member @outlander - just being insecure 💜

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member ☕👋💕

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💜💙💚🧡💛💐🌺🌸🌷

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

MaggieSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 💕💜💕💜

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Maggie @Zoe7 @outlander thanks for the hearts 💜

@Former-Member Georgia's going strong, and keeps me connected on had das. She loves me which I can't quite comprehend lol

My garden s struggling, too hot maybe, I've moved it to a shadier spot, hopefully get some salad leaves soon. That's nice that you thought of me when you did your wheelbarrow planting 🤗

Saw a bereavement worker yesterday (social worker @ local hospital. Really downloaded on her. Lots of tears, and surprisingly ... relief... (think that's what it was), as when she went out to get a card for me, I burst into tears, that I finally got to tell someone all that, I think, was good anyway. Going back next week.

Today I've had the car Pink Slip done, walked couple hours and my legs & back 😞 hurting bad. Laying down, probably end up in one of those mobility scooters if lypoedema and back gets much worse grr.

Hey, my son answered my tx straight away this AM (I sent him a pic of my cafe breakfast), helps him to see me up and going. He sent me a happy selfie heading out the door to work. Even said "all's good here" which is such a relief as he was really down on the weekend and I feel powerless to help him. He's everything to me. Anyway, bye for now TNX 🌷🦉

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi there @Former-Member ... sounds like you've had a couple of highly emotional, but productive days. Awww .. look at little Georgia there in her bed. My Holly has a bed just like it only in a different colour. Mind you she doesnt actually use her bed much ... mine is much more appealing. But she uses it when I have to leave her elsewhere, such as when I left her with our neighbours when we went to perth. Sorry to hear that all your recent activity is playing havoc with pain in your back and legs. Hope you can rest up and start to feel better soon. Have I missed something? Just wondering how come there is a picture of a sewing machine there. Are you sewing something special? Ah now EOR, thats the reason I planted my little vege seedlings in the wheelbarrow. I can easily wheel it around to a different spot depending on the weather. In the rare chance of a late frost for example I can wheel it under cover. Or if it gets too hot, I can park it in the shade. Its a very old wheelbarrow and only really good for planting in, certainly past its useful life as a working barrow. I hope your seedlings recover in a cooler spot with a little less sun. That must be a big relief that your Son responded so quickly and positively to your tx this morning. Feeling happy for you about that.

Sending kind thoughts and a big hug to you.

Sherry

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

MaggieSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Your appointment sounded like you really needed an understanding ear. It’s not easy to do, so give yourself a tick ✔️✔️✔️ I gave you 3. 💜😁

Sorry about the pain, I understand completely, and yes to the fears of ending up in a scooter.

We are getting some spring days, so I see lots of plants coming out of Bunnings, so I guess keeping water up is going to be essential. I only have some pansies in small pots and strawberry plants. 👍👍

Georgia does look cute. Love ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️More ticks. Yes they sure know how to do that.

@Former-Member I smiled at your mobile garden. 😁😁😁 go you. 👍👍👍

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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