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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 3:50 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

yea its a girl sloth waving hello @Former-Member

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 4:49 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Well done on everything you did yesterday @Former-Member Hope you have managed to get through today okay too Hon. It hs rained most of today here. I need to go out again later to get some things done but needed a break first. Been a long day at work so came home for a rest and to feed the fur babies before I head out again.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember21 Aug 2019, 5:08 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

H @ Zoe7 sounds like you need an early night tonight. My be day Mine was less productive 😞 to say the least...

Its nice coming home to our furbabies, when living alone. Here Georgia gets so excited when I get back, even if only 5min, its lovely.

@ Zoe7 - @outlander @ I only ask because I live like a sloth and thought you were dropping a hint lol �

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Nope not dropping any hints @Former-Member lol My place is a bit slothish at the moment too but I don't have the energy to do much today. I am definitely coming down with a cold - been coughing and had a temperature all day. Problem is - I don't have time to be sick - there is so much to do for work over the next couple of weeks I have to go out again tonight - especially to the chemist - then I have tomorrow off so I suspect it will be spent in bed at this rate. I am going to wait a couple of hours until the traffic has cleared and there are not many people around - should be in and out of the chemist quickly at that time of night too. I will take Toby with me for a drive - he loves coming in the car and it will be company for me too. Tobes is the same as Georgia - I only have to be away for 5 minutes and he greets me as if it was a week lol - gotta love our fur babies

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember21 Aug 2019, 5:55 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh no, not a cold @Zoe7 definately rest and lots of fluids tomorrow, sweat it out under a doona if ya can. Maybe ring in sick for Friday. Definately see how you wouldn't have time to be sick. It has a tendency of rendering us useless a while. Hope it's brief. I rarely catch cold since taking daily vit-d (touch wood), they reckon this is the worst flu season we've had. I'm really cold tonight so gone to bed with E.Blanket on high.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Shaz51Senior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 6:00 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

sending you super tender hugs @Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 6:18 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

It is pouring here tonight @Former-Member and cold too so going to snuggle in my jammies with Toby on the couch. I really wanted to get some of the housework done but don't have the energy - nothing that can't wait though. I do have sick leave again so if I am not right by tomorrow afternoon I will have Friday off then that will give me 4 days to try to knock this on the head. I have to cut the fence palings for the birdhouses before Monday too so the kids can get started. If I can get 3-4 done per day then we will have them all ready in time for the Art Expo in a couple of weeks. ...so much to do and the weather certainly isn't helping me

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor21 Aug 2019, 9:07 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

lol no of course not @Former-Member I just thought the sloth was cute

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2019, 12:49 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Zoe7 ❣️

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor22 Aug 2019, 10:50 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

That is a super cute image @Former-Member Made me smile Snuggled up on the couch with Toby today - really unwell so not able to do anything. It sucks but nothing I can do about it. Hoping a complete rest day will help me get over this cold much quicker.

How are you travelling today? Did you stay warm with your electric blanket last night?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.