Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

511 - 520 of 2,720

1...51 52 53...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember31 July 2019, 8:38 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi Maggie, ?what am I doing with the phone? Well, the pic is off the net, my attempt to make light of having deleted or blocked half my address book last week, during a two day depression slump, which I'm still picking up the pieces from.. ambivalence... 🤔Want ppl but don't...
Some mood swings are difficult to recover from. How are you?

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember31 July 2019, 9:06 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Zoe7, needed to hear that, but even for 'self care' it's hard because I'm lonely. Sometimes the only company we're use to is offensive. Either way it's hard. But guess i am better off out of their reach when none of my family have respect for anyone, let alone my need get along and have a family. Grown apart well and truly... Seems they have a picture of me that's not based in reality, a mind construct to support their agents or something, a wall I can't seem to penetrate. They simply don't know me. Who needs it! Flogging a long time dead horse. I'm finally learning to walk away, but its not easy for me to let go of those I love. My brother's have always been selfish & aloof, but my sister... this has hurt a lot... even though my sister is still in the flesh... I now light a candle for her with my departed daughter and mum, when sad, difference is... I'm still hurt/angry with my sister. I donno, getting someone out of ya head is much harder. in tears again thinking about it all, too much before morning coffee lol.
Let us know what sort of a day you have later xox

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember31 July 2019, 9:07 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Morning @Former-Member, you ok?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember31 July 2019, 9:22 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good morning @Former-Member

Yeah I'm okay I guess. Thanks for asking. 🌸

I hope your travel to visit your Dad the other day went well? You may have written about it already, my apologies if you have, I have missed quite a bit of news while I was away for the week. Trying to catch up on everything as I can get to it.

Wishing you the best day possible my lovely tawny owl. 🦉

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Shaz51Senior Contributor31 July 2019, 9:42 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @Former-Member

Good morning @Former-Member , @Ali11 , @Zoe7 , @outlander xx

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor31 July 2019, 12:30 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor31 July 2019, 6:32 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I hear your frustration and hurt especially in regards to your sister @Former-Member and the loneliness you are feeling It is so hard losing those connections and it is even worse when it is family and they have not been at all nice or supportive of you.

How is the house looking? Are you making it feel more like a home - at least somewhere you can feel safe?

I have had a pretty good day. We had to do some things for the normal teacher so some of what we had planned we will do on Friday. It was no drama - just means I have less to do tomorrow. It was the 100th day of school today so the kids dressed up as someone 100 years old - they were so cute Made the day a little more fun also. My day off tomorrow but I am going in after school for parent-teacher interviews so will be home late again.

Sending much love and hugs to you Hon

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor31 July 2019, 6:46 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

Hearing you about makng light of hard things.

Sometimes it really helps ... but it is your right to do so and not expect to have to put with others laughing about them in your face.... and the real difficulties of passive SI.

I did something last week with a neighbour that I never thought I would be able to do.

I need to wear scarves ...cos of neck ... and I made a joke about it ..in gesture ... showed me I could laugh at myself .... SOMETIMES ...

I also need empathy and support and kindness. There has been very little of it.

I had another visit with new GP and another blood test today, but she seems to be very good. SHe has agreed to go through my coroners reports with me. Gently gently one at a time, but I will look forward to her doctorly intelligent and sensitive reading of them.

I been away doing music which was great.

and then broke jack for computer so off line.

Hear you about the major hurt re your sister ... my sister too. Learning to put it to the back of my mind.

Keep trundling along Bella ...

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember01 Aug 2019, 2:42 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Faith-and-Hope... I see you supporting in the background there. Hope you're doing ok 💐
Hi @outlander, love the garden path picture 😁👍 Hiya @Shaz51 🌷
@Former-Member 🌸 Just do the best you can, that's all you can do. Do you light a candle for your mum when your sad? I did not visit my Dad... after my last trip to Sydney, the upset and state I found dadbin, triggering a major AgedCare Complaint, so, the air is pretty thick between dad's nursing home staff and I. Visiting is hard, plus I'm dodging abusive brothers there in Sydney too. Just really stressed me last time so I decided to put myself first and only go when internal resources up to it. Plus I had trouble getting the big wardrobe out the car all this time (but did that today). I fo feel bad I'm not visiting dad more. Hey, you make me smile how you affectionately call me "tawny owl 🦉" 💜 thank you Sherry 💕
Hi @Zoe7, The house is looking that bit better each day. Little bits each day. And i do feel safe here.
Glad you had a good day at work Zoe, Kiddy 'dress ups' sounds fun. Hope you enjoy your day off tomorrow, and the parent-teacher interviews go well.
Thanks for hugs 💜

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

MaggieSenior Contributor01 Aug 2019, 5:17 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Sorry, the pic was VERY obvious if I had read the words before posting a dumb reply. I know that feeling well, wanting people, not wanting people. Mood swings knock us around. I hope things have improved even just a little for you. I’m struggling, but that seems more a norm for me.

511 - 520 of 2,720

1...51 52 53...272