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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

@Emelia8

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Anastasia - how long have you been a community Guide? Only J st notices 🤔👍

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

A couple of weeks now I think @Former-Member 😁🤪💞🌷

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member

I saw this at the markets and immediately thought about you. I’m back in Qld but rather wobbly and no idea what’s happening.

I hope your day is going well and it’s not too cold where you are.

Isn’t this so sweet?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Aww @Eve7 - thank you for thinking of me, that's lovely of you. EOR character is loved by many 😁 W he painted on? A table tennis bat maybe? You know, I had to laugh at myself the other day, choosing EOR as a profile... because being a donkey he is also an ASS 😮 lol And the slang words associated with it in dictionary is as bad qets. Oh my goodness.
Glad you're back home, bur sorry you're feeling 'wobbly' Hope you can centre yourself quickly (but gently), bounce back again.
Sorry I couldn't turn on the sun for your welcome back. So cold today.
I'm in the hills so the wind chill is a shocker ☃️🌬️ finding every little crack to get in. I've done a bit of sewing and sorted my tool box but keep finding myself under the doona 🛌 to get warm and stop backache.
What you doing today?

💙💚💛🧡💗💜💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I went out this morning for a while and have done very little since @Former-Member

It’s not too cold here, sunny and windy so if you’re out of the wind it’s ok.

I think eeyore is on a chopping board or pot stand. Cute eh! It was at the markets and I would buy you one but....anyway it’s the the thought 💜

I’ll see pdoc and psych this week but I can call Acute Care team if needed. I won’t call them as I know what they’ll say so If rather they give the public hospital bed to someone else.

Do you have plans this week?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh Eve7 having a PJ day here and probably will all week. Struggling to find routine or structure. The day seems to pass so quickly lately. My ticker has been jumping around a lot, even discomfort, but just don't care anymore. I'm right if I can lay down. As far as what I'm doing this week, well, there's no plans. Just me, furbaby, God and my 4walls. Avoiding going out, sick of the shops, the rat race mentality out there. Trying to get by with whatever else I can use to avoid going out. I have this irrational fear something bad is about to happen... bit hard to ignore. Anyway, praying a lot, gotta trust God and stay busy with my hobbies, and not annoy anybody with my neediness. Just me, Holy Spirit, furbaby and you guys.
Am i making any sense here, my brain fuzz. 💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Cute @Adge, thank you 😊 Did you get that job?
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