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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 June 2021, 3:11 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I see you @Former-Member

Sending you love 💞❣️💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember18 June 2021, 3:18 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

👋 hi @Anastasia, can't you sleep either? Things still on the improve for you and myboy? Nice to see you ,💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 June 2021, 3:25 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello lovely,

Nope it's a regular thing of late sadly. My body clock thinks I've had enough and then my brain won't switch off, same for you? Its frustrating because I struggle the next day.

Hope so @Former-Member although he isn't attend the new support yesterday 😔 It's a day by day at the moment and I'm celebrating the teeny wins cause I got to, right?

How are you sweetheart, are you ok?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember18 June 2021, 9:16 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yep, "tiny wins" - gotta run with them Anastasia ✔️
Im ok I suppose. Emotional day yesterday, lonely and self loathing but good so far this morning... Sometimes feelings wipe out entire days, maybe the constant rumbling just breaks through now and then and for me that includes SI battle. Couldn't get much help but off to better start this morning thank goodness.
Do you have to work today? I'm retired now so lucky I can have 'powernaps' - and also stretch out when the bones hurt. 'Small wins'

haha, we should start a thread called that 🤔 'todays wins' ... Count our blessings etc. I have a friend who keeps a Gratitude Journal 🤔

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor18 June 2021, 9:21 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good morning @Former-Member 🌷🌻

Happy to hear that today has begun on a more positive note for you. 😊💕 I hope that continues throughout your day. 🙏

Emelia

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember18 June 2021, 9:34 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Emelia - ditto!
Do you have much planned?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 June 2021, 9:42 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Good morning gorgeous @Former-Member

I do like that idea "Small wins, count our blessings" - there is no reason why you could't start one, I like it very much, it really does boil down to the "little things' and "small wins" in life 🙂

Tag me if you do, I will be there in a heart beat sweets 🙏

I am glad you are in a better place today, I am sorry yesterday was :pile_of_poo:, yes whole days can be lost sadly. So so happy that today won't be one of those for you Eor 🙂

Yes I am working, from home so I am in pj's and will shower in my lunch break as well as tidy house and sort some washing..."small win"

Love and hugs for your day ahead my dear friend 🙂

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor18 June 2021, 9:46 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Former-Member 🙏

I have an apt with my GP this morning. Need some referrals and some scripts.

I will do a quick grocery shop while I'm in town. Mainly dog necessities really. My grocery bills are minimal now that its only me. But I do need milk, bread, butter, fresh fruit and veges.

Might spend a bit of time pruning roses later. 🌹 And take care of my little Holly. 🐶

How about you?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 June 2021, 10:06 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @mufasa it's nice to meet you.

I love the Lion King, I am guessing so do you?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember18 June 2021, 10:16 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Emelia8 and @Anastasia, for encouraging, but also for letting me know what your plans are at home today, cause honestly, I'm forgetting what a normal day looks like our there. Thank you. Makes me feel more normal 💙💙💙

I did the dishes yesterday. Must if let the water get cold several days there.

Thinking about... Just heard There's a Town festival only an hour away this w'end, O/n camping at showgrounds, excited me at first... I donno, there's a healing thing going on inside me that reduced stimuli might be best to listen to atm, not anxiety. Got that choice at least. Maybe next year.

Nothing wrong with PJ days Anas... My son loves his working from home re IT. Couldn't see that as possible 30yrs ago. WTG✔️

Pottering outside in the sun sounds like a great idea Em. Hope your roses have fragrance that gently fills your home. You deserve it.

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