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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 June 2021, 10:12 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Anastasia - got a lot of pain today, probably my own fault as rearranged loungeroom yesterday, fair bit of heavy lifting. Hope your specialist apts are helpful today 💗

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor09 June 2021, 9:01 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Lots of heavy lifting eh @Former-Member Pain afterwards, not good.

Would you like some Pumpkin Soup, for a cold windy evening (at least here it is)?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember10 June 2021, 12:32 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yum @Adge - love pumpkin soup 👍 thank you 🤗
Winter has arrived... ☃️
Stay warm buddy 💗

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 9:31 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Popping in to tell you both I'm making soup this weekend thanks to you @Former-Member 🙏

Love a good pumpkin soup @Adge , I put curry in mine. How's thing with you, I haven't seen much of you lately, are you ok?

I'll be off for a bit to start the day but I'll pop in later. Hope today's kind to you both 🙏🙌

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember12 June 2021, 9:50 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Still ploughing through my Tawney's Magic Soup coikup. Certainly helps to eat healthier. You have a good day @Anastasia 🌷

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor12 June 2021, 9:51 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 3:55 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Anastasia @Former-Member Soup, Yum....

Curry in Soup sounds Good to me.

I like Curry & Chilli in lots of things.

I just finished cleaning my Aviaries - got covered in yukky gooey much (on Aviary floors), as I often do.

Stocked up all the Seed Hoppers.

Scrubbed & cleaned all the Water Hoppers (6 of them).

My Birds all seem Happy.

The Canaries & Finches always Dive in for a Bath & splosh water everywhere (they're excited) - As soon as I put the Clean Water Hoppers (with fresh water) back in.

Yeah I've been pretty stuffed every day recently.

Too many stressors, sudden changes & over-scheduling - Felt totally Hammered with appointments & phone calls for appointments, these past few weeks.

Missed out on a Job Offer Opportunity, which was depressing - The only offer in about 12 months.

Well I could not have possibly worked those hours (anyway) - Centrelink Call Centre, 6.00am Starts & 8.00pm Finishes (5 days a week).

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 4:01 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You're a good Dad to your birdies @Adge . Its a big job and you do it painstakingly because you care. They are lucky birdies ✔️🙏

Yes the curry makes it special, and a dollop of cream, gold 💞

It sounds to me like a blessing you missed out @Adge , those hours are ridiculous. Call centre work can be tough let alone those hours!

I really really hope for something just to show up for you that is fair and a perfect fit. You deserve that. Put all this BS behind you having to check-in and report and justify your existence. Not easy.

I think you should relax now, an easy dinner perhaps, putyour feet up? You sure deserve to x

Hello @Former-Member hope your daysbeing good to you 🙏

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 4:16 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @Zoe7

How are you feeling? I hope you aren't in too much pain?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor12 June 2021, 4:22 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hey Hon Still in pain but getting through @Anastasia How are you?

@Adge

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