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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member I loved your Humour (Smiley Face)

- On Apply to Be Community Guide Thread.

Good to see you there.

Sophia1 said she thinks you would make an Excellent Community Guide - Yes you would too...

So sorry about your Dad.

I'm thinking about you & your Dad - Kind Wishes & thoughts.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Adge thanks for dropping by. Yes I've been pretty sad. Tend to get that way in May, all my life, think cause I was sent to a red cross girl's home when I was 11 and got bullied there and... can't think of much else to account. Season affective disorders not really likely in Australia. Strange cause I also love autumn. Maybe it's mother's Day, my mum was cruel. Anyway. Glad you took my 🤣 the right way xox

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Former-Member I wish I could hug you right now. I'm so sorry it was your beautiful Dad's anniversary, can't imagine 😔

No wonder you're sad. And yes you would be a wonderful cg. I always smile when I see you and your lovely messages left for members.

@Adge same goes for you, you're a good egg ☺️

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Aww wow, that's really sweet of you @Anastasia thank you, that very encouraging. @ Recently here a moderator told me "WERE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU" which has repeated over and over in my head. Normally blackdog would crash tackle and neutralse the good for me, but I'm finally learning to take these beautiful seeds of validation and water them. We all need it. I'm not sure you're told enough how encouraging you are here on the forums, I love reading your posts and honest moments too. Let's keep this going. Good for the soul - to be valued. Thanks for hugzz sending you one too (( 💚💙💚💙 ))

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh I love that, take the seeds and water them...might have to type out and stick it on my computer in the office @Former-Member

It's true, we are lucky to have you here. Kudos to you to stop blakdog in his tracks.

Thank you for your kind words, my insecurities sometimes have me second guessing things.

Yes, let's start an avalanche of love xox

I'll come back in the morning for piccy.

Hugs and night Eor x

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Love your furry green guy, thank you @Former-Member 🙏

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sending you lots of tender hugs @Former-Member ❤❤❤

Hugs @Adge , @Anastasia , @Zoe7 😀👋❤☕☕

☕☕☕ @Former-Member 😀

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member That is just the cutest chicken ever 😁 Hugs and hugs ad hugs for you Hon

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You are Welcome @Former-Member Sorry you've been so sad, with good reason it sounds.

My Mum was cruel too - lead to the death of my pet mice, & several of my pet birds (finches).

Heartbreaking for a 10 y.o kid - She never apologised, she did not take any responsibility for anything she did (or the outcome of her actions).

So many regrets (sadness) I have - Over other people's past actions, & events that I had no power to change.

Sorrry to divert.

I'm thinking of you ((( EOR ))).

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I think you are a Good Egg too @Anastasia Thanks for calling me a Good Egg.

Adge

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