@@Zoe7 @Adge @Emelia8 - thank you all for defending me re family. It's been very hurtful, soul destroying actually ( but guess I'm easily hurt.). My sister has her reasons for treating me like waste, be it real or not. I think maybe unfulfilled expectations, who knows. She's grown an 'air' of superioriority / arrogance since marrying he medico hubby & living in flash homes, and I guess I'm just 'not good enough" since (especially the MI my two big breakdowns & bro3,4 drug abuse & paranoid Sz psychosis, hospitalisations there), all too embarrassing with this high profile hubby I guess. My contribution to her stand I think is primarily MI (major depression), and withdrawing all the time, and living interstate and not 'being there for her' - how did she put it?... oh yes... "I'M DONE CHASING YOU" she said a couple a years after my girl died. She seems to lack empathy, and compassion and tollerence with most people... she's damaged too. When in the early throws of grief my son explained it away as "people get tired mum!". So yeah, I wasn't there for my sister's histerectomy etc (barely holding my own), but I'm thinking she does have support, a hubby, 2sons with wives, x5 married stepdaughters and her church community (glad to befriend 'a doctor' :face_with_rolling_eyes:), honestly don't know where I fit into all that like I am, especially when she takes from me the little I have (mocks me)... After my first breakdown (9wk, hospitalisation, back in my 20s) she couldn't handle it I don't think. The whole family had me up on this damn pedistal. Eventually she just started mocking me, especially my mood, and in company too, even in front of me, and she thinks its funny, or just matter-of-fact, I eventually pulled away more and more. So, now she just stonewalls me instead, total boycott, ouch😢 So be it. But as hurtful as this is i'd rather be stonewalled than keep feeding her my heart to be walked on and gossiped about... (which she calls delusion go figure). When I realised this was all I was good for to her (and being a sounding board to her bitching about mum) I stopped calling her as much. My 5yr family court battles drained everyone I guess, the powerlessness of it all. It was stupid of me to confide in my baby sister. Thats when she started getting sick of me, flipping me off to hubby etc not knowing how to handle it. I donno, go nuts trying to figure it out. CONFLICT DESTROYS PEOPLE.
But this ESTATE thing, and having a say ... I'm not sure there's much to say, to ask, accept for equal division (which I believe is the intent) & to not be left out. I think the sibs problem with me being dad's carer back then was THEIR anxiety (fear paranoia neuroticism delusion...) that I would use caring for dad to somehow influence powers to favour me with any inheritance to come or something, God knows when that would be :face_with_rolling_eyes: WT#! Bro 2 even abused me a couple of times back then, twice in front of people "why are you here? You're here to steel the estate aren't you?!" He declared, I was stumped for words as this was the furtherest thing from my mind for goodness sakes. I was so busy looking after my parents, the house, appointments, visitors, sabotaging siblings,. pets.. Sheesh! Nobody was properly looking after mum and dad there, mum was so skinny, and so sick, how could I not come! 😢 that's all I could see.
Oh well, now I'm sure dads death and my moving back to Qld and not challenging sis will put the money hungry evildoers minds at ease. So sad all this. Wonder how they'll heel about me when they HAVE their money safe in hand? I hope they realise then.
I am comforted that the solicitor has started communicating with me by email. I did ask. Yesterday he cc'd all six of us in comms. So I'm content / relieved that I'm no longer 'left out' 🙏 Had to have a quiet chuckle though as he pointed out how Bro 2, 3, & 4 messed up the completion of their consent forms for sis to take over (I didn't know if they'd all agree btw). Apparently they each didn't have it 'witnessed' correctly and have to do it again, :face_with_rolling_eyes:yep. And, my sis's affidavit to be sited before signing it, that was attached, solicitor drew up a new one with her Thursday and I have it now and pleased it didn't 'bag' everyone but rather was more about her obligation / commitment to integrity in executing the role (hehe YES!). I'm sitting back more relaxed that things seem on track. So good to be informed. I'm just so relieved someone is talking sense to me, that I'm in the loop - my sister would hate that so much you know, it's been her most hurtful weapon on me.
So I'm thanking God & Mr Solicitor. I think it's all so soon, but at the end of the day, Someone has to be family rep and it seems the majority are happy for baby sis to do it ? Better her than the brothers I guess. Probably just be shoooting Myself in the foot if I challenge it, and I don't need the bullying my rights trigger there. When I pray all I hear is (let go, trust me). I will wait for the others to agree first before I sign off, so i know where they all stand finally. In case I'm no longer included once they have what they want from me :face_with_rolling_eyes: Life is so difficult.
On a different note,
Yesterday I had my first 'good' morning in a very long time. Might be related to a sense of relief re above, but I think it more physical, I felt 'well' which I haven't for soooo long. Today not so much, but ok. Maybe iron supplements are helping.
Thanks for being here for me , means a lot. Sorry I'm not on your threads more. Tired. Appreciate Yas popping over here though, more than you know. Thank you 💙🙏
My ankle is feeling slightly better - still can't walk well on it but better than I have been able to. My gums are still swollen and uncomfortable but the pain has gone so that is a positive. Eating is not easy still but getting there.
