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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember04 Apr 2019, 10:44 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello, how yas going? missing yas. My u/s showed three thigh problems causing this excruciating pain: complete tendon tear, related tendonitis & tissue inflammation. Such pain Sure let's ya know your alive. Got some help with transport by a kind neighbour. My van s manual & I can't use left leg.
I'll come looking on your threads.
Hope all's well 🙂

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor05 Apr 2019, 4:00 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

That is not good news about your thigh @Former-Member but at least you know what the issues are causing the pain. It would certainly restrict movement too. It sounds like it will be a long recovery time also and that certainly is not ideal So glad you got some help from a neighbour - there are some lovely people out there

Just home from work and pleased it is Friday and have the weekend ahead of me. Last weekend here before the school holidays at the end of next week so very much looking forward to the longer break. Pretty much the same weekend planned as usual - houesework, schoolwork, footy and lots of rest.

Hope you are getting a lot of rest too @Former-Member - look after that thigh of yours Hon

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember05 Apr 2019, 8:18 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

TNX @Zoe7 another week out the way.

Rest? Forced relaxation my aunt use to say. Physical injury is easier to navigate than emotions.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor05 Apr 2019, 8:22 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yes I agree @Former-Member Emotions are much harder to deal with - a physical injury is more obvious and can be more easily seen but our emotions are much more hidden.

HHow is your hip feeling tonight?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Apr 2019, 12:09 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Zoe7, how's your w'end
Not sure if I'm managing pain better with meds or getting use to it but it's not so excruciating pain. Still bad, and kept me awake half last night. Dr says it will improve quickly after the two crtsn inj Monday. Hope so.
Had a great day. Got online groceries delivered today, so much easier, and someone even bring a hot meal tonight. Feeling loved.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Apr 2019, 8:51 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hey @Former-Member I have been watching footy and snuggling with Toby mainly this weekend so fr. I had to go to my sister's place yesterday as her partner is cleaning out his shed and wanted to see what I would like. He is bringing some tools and shelving around today for me - one can never have too many tools

Today I also need to do the usual housework and some school work. We only have a week left before school holidays so anything else I need to do can wait until then.

It is great that you had your groceries delivered and so lovely that someone brought you a hot meal last night - there are some wonderful people in the world

Hope your pain continues to improve and you hip is feeling much better soon. It will be good to get that help with the injs Monday - anything that can help will be welcomed.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember07 Apr 2019, 11:35 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Zoe7, my kinda girl, stocking up on DIY tools, snuggling into furbabies, and looking fwd to holidays. So cool!
Non event day today, just coming to terms with things.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Apr 2019, 6:55 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sometimes those days are exactly what we need @Former-Member - time to think about things and just get through the day. Hope tomorrow is better for you though Hon.

You have your GP appointment today so I hope that helps with the pain in your hip

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2019, 11:33 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Zoe7, feeling pretty worn down his AM. Holding off pain meds 'till closer till 2pm 'ultrasound guided anti-inflammatory inj. 😣 Gotta be brave..

So painful - Took me ages to cook porridge & sort out furbaby - she so needs a bath. Especially painful to get up & down, tend to stay down which isn't good.
Anyway, hope you have a good week, best perk of teaching I would think (regular big breaks)
I have to go, get ready for apt. Thanks for being here for me. ❣️

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2019, 6:47 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Not GP today @Zoe7 @

Just U/S guided anti-inflammatory injection which didn't hurt much. Really. Hoping it works, might take a week they said.

Hope your last week before holidays goes fast. I've been looking around other threads, saw you there, hope that's ok. Ned to get out of this thread more.

Hope @Appleblossom is ok

. 💗

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