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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 9:15 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I've had chronic pain for 25 years, since the 1990's @Former-Member Initially only due to my Scoliosis (spine).

Yes it definitely impacts mood, yes it's hard to be hopeful when in pain.

Apparently SI is common in people with a severe/ complex Trauma background - I was told by Psychologist that I am Rare (unusual) that I don't do that, never have.

Goodnight EOR.

Adge

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 9:18 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Nice one @Faith-and-Hope

That is a Lovely Picture.

I especially like animal pictures, & animals showing affection.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 9:38 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I know both you and @Former-Member do @Adge . I am sorry I haven't been more "here" for both of you. I have been treading water for a while now and just sticking to quiet corners of the forums mostly. It's not that I don't care - just not much stuffing at the moment.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 9:43 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 🤗💕🌸💞

Just wanted to reassure you that you are so very worthy of support, and while ever I'm here, you will always have my support. Like many others I suspect, there are times I'm not able to offer as much support as I would like to. So I can go quiet sometimes and stick more closely to my own thread where I feel safest. But I always follow your thread, I'm subscribed to this thread, and get email notifications for it. So please know that I am always watching and listening to make sure you are as okay as possible. And if I have anything I feel may be of benefit to you, or I'm particularly concerned about you, I will always chip in.

I hope you sleep well my very worthy and loveable friend. You are so worth it!

And you too @Adge ... I'm sorry you sometimes feel neglected.

Emelia 💕🤗🌺🙏

Big hugs for you my friend ....

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 10:03 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I never think badly of you @Faith-and-Hope nor of you @Emelia8

Indeed I don't naturally think badly of anyone - Unless they're very rude or nasty to me, first.

Otherwise people deserve "Kind thoughts" & "Benefit of the doubt" (no judgement).

No Stuffing left, & Treading Water - Yes I'm familiar with that feeling.

Even though I cannot Swim, so I probably cannot actually Tread Water.....

I'm not surprised - You've had a tremendous amount on your plate, for quite some time.

You too Emelia.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor23 Jan 2021, 10:16 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Adge 🤗🌺🐦🦜💖

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 10:14 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Dear @Former-Member

Just letting you know I am thinking of you, and hoping you are coping as well as possible in the leadup to tomorrow. 💔

Sending love and hugs your way.

Hi to you also @Adge 😄

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 3:26 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member Very much thinking of you Hon and sending you both love and hugs.

@Adge An extra squishy hug for you too

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 3:45 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Zoe7 I'm thinking of you, with your tooth pain.

Hopefully a quick painless resolution for you.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 3:47 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Root canal today @Adge - still numb so will see later if it has helped ...on the upside there is no pain at the moment

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