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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 8:31 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

It sounds like a wonderful day for all of you @Eve7 despite you being banned from the big redcar lol

Mr 5 wearing his Bluey undies is adorable and good that Miss 3 liked it too.

We used to watch episodes of Bluey in our fruit break each morning - the kids loved it and as each episode is only 7 minutes long it was perfect timing to put 2 episodes on for them to finish eating. The messages in it are great for the kids too - it is very well done ...plus they are all super cute

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 8:41 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

The show today went for 15mins which was enough for little people. It was very interactive @Zoe7 and I even danced on the Granny team!! I will sleep well tonight

from a nice healthy tiredness.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 8:59 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

haha I would have liked to see you dance @Eve7 - super cool

I have been watching a series for days online - just finished it tonight now need to fill my time another way. It has been very relaxing and just what I need to rest and do nothing 👍 Going to get the ladder out tomorrow and see what I need to do in the attic to put the ladder in - then it is off to Bunnings to get the ladder and whatever else I need ...joy, joy, joy (love Bunnings).

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:14 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hey @Adge How has your day been?

@Former-Member how is that bite of yours tonight? Has your headache gone?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:17 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh No not Bunnings @Zoe7 I cringe in horror....

Facing Crocodiles (up north) sounds more enjoyable.

Yes (I know) Bunnings came from WA (it started here) - That still doesn't mean I have to like it....

Bunnings managed to get rid of (or out-compete) most of its competitors.

So they nearly all closed down.

So now there's virtually no choice here - It's either Bunnings, or (wait for it) Bunnings....

Yes you can still like Bunnings (that's fine)....

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

On that point I do actually agree with you @Adge They did outprice many competitors and many businesses closed down as a result - the same happened to some in Tassie ...but we also did not have the range available in the hardware stores that Bunnings brought nor the competition to bring down prices so we were paying much more than was available on the mainland. We still have several thriving hardware stores aside from Bunnings on the outskirts of the city because they expanded their range - I often shop at them too.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:35 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Well said @Zoe7 It's all "Swings & Roundabouts" (as the saying goes) - Some good, some bad, some gains & some losses.

I just cannot find a staff person, to help me (anywhere in there).

So if I cannot find the item myself, then they lose the sale - I go home with nothing, & I've wasted my trip there.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I know most of the aisles like the back of my hand @Adge lol

I also research first what I need to see if it is in stock and in which section it is in if it is something I don't usually get. ...but when I take Tobes I can still be there for ages - he loves the attention and the pats

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

As to how my day went @Zoe7 ....

My Shade Sail (over Aviaries) came down.

I was just a short while ago, up on a Ladder - Trying to screw the bolts back in.

Bolts were rusty (wouldn't go), so had to oil them first.

Very hard holding it together - when both sides are at tension (to hold sail up).

Discovered too many huge black spiders in my shed (& in aviary roofs) - So had to spray them.

Nothing exciting, that's about it really....

So tired, it's been so hot (4 or 5 days in a row) - maybe that's why I'm nackered.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Dec 2020, 9:45 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh no @Adge For both the shade sail and spiders. I would have abandoned task as soon as I found the spiders - and yes would have sprayed them too. I have been keeping up with the heat in your area - days of it being way too hot so it is not surprising your energy levels have been low - heat does that to me too once it gets above 30 and you have been dealing with it much higher.

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