Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

1,861 - 1,870 of 2,720

1...186 187 188...272

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 4:38 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh that is horrible @Eve7 Is there any way you can stop him saying that?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 4:52 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I threatened to wash his mouth out with soap @Zoe7

He’ll stop if he doesn’t get a reaction and doesn’t hear it again. I definitely draw the line at racism even from a bird.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 4:59 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I am absolutely the same @Eve7 - won't tolerate it from anyone and will call it out straight away no matter who it comes from. Had a situation like that at lunch yesterday and I made my feelings very known ...and did not back down one bit when the person tried to laugh it off as a joke - nothing funny nor acceptable at all about it.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 5:00 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oops @Eve7 ... naughty bird.

😱🙉🙊

Hey @Clawde hope you enjoyed that beer. I rarely drink beer, but on a hot day I can down one in quick time and enjoy it. 🍻 Do you like watching the cricket @Clawde ?

Thank you @Sam3 😄 As @Zoe7 said ... this thread is @Former-Member s. I am a frequent visitor though, because EOR is someone I have 'met' here years ago and is a person I genuinely like and greatly admire. 💞

@Former-Member been thinking of you beautiful, and hoping you're having a nice restful day today. Hope you dont feel overwhelmed with so much activity here from friendly visitors.

Emelia 🌷

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 Dec 2020, 6:18 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Emelia8 no, doesn't worry me, I've been offline most the day anyway, besides, ya Gotta finish conversations started, thats fine. Thats fine!
@Sam3 - good to see you, I did start this thread to discuss swinging life pattern of coping (being functional/normal) but always falling in a heap 4-8months later😞😭 Wanted insights but it kinda took on its own life, anything goes, andvthatsvok - a knda home base to put updates, reach out, hide a little, a place people know to find me. Anyone's welcome.
@Zoe7 I'm sorta ok. Got a headache but resting a lot.
Watched "We of the Never Never" (free to air) which was good to relive. Use to work as a nurse in the 'outback' RFDS , but not as remote as the movie, sheesh!
Good to hear you're giving yourself some 'me' time this week Zoe8. My son needs that atm.
Hi @Eve7 good to see you so chatty, didn't know you have a bit to do with horses, and birds, a very naughty bird by the sounds... Have you introduced him in the 'Everything Birds' thread? I can't remember anything, but he sounds like a real character.
@Adge - anymore greenants? I googled bites earlier but phone went flat. Got couple of good charts. I still have red mark where he got me the little bliter😨No more here. They reckon the ants know when the wet season is coming and they seek high ground, and build mounds... You sound very knowledgeable about so many such things. Which reminds me 😥 my son gave me an Orchard for Christmas... never had an Orchard before 🙁 I can't even keep African Violets alive - what do I do ?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Emelia8Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 6:23 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member 👍💞😄

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 6:30 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member My Mum is an Entomologist (Bug Expert), she used to Lecture at Uni.

So we grew up with lots of Bugs....

It's hard though, because there are 1000's of species of insects (many look alike) - So unless you collect an actual specimen (insect), it's hard to identify it.

There are many different Orchids, all with different requirements.

So you need to look up, find out about - The Specific type of Orchid that it is.

Most need Shade, or even inside against a bright Window (not in a dark room).

Need to keep them moist, they're virtually all Tropical Plants.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 9:54 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hey @Former-Member Super sucks about the headache Hon Hope it goes quickly.

I knew you were a nurse but did not know you worked in the outback with the RFDS - that would have been a hard gig - just adds to the admiration I have for you (if that was at all possible)

Yes finally having some time to myself - today has been very quiet and restful and I am hoping the coming few days are the same. I hope your son can get that too - especially with all that he is dealing with at the moment ... but I also hope he does not shut you out in the process. Fingers crossed he stays in touch and lets you know how he is going.

@Adge Me and orchids do not have a good relationship lol I do love them but in my house they don't seem to want to survive for long - thanks for the tips to EOR - might invest in another one and see if I can keep it alive longer than a few months 👍

@Eve7 @Shaz51 @Sam3

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 10:26 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

For example @Former-Member @Zoe7 This is where we need to know what type of Orchid...

Cymbidiums (in Pot) do best Outdoors, under shade (filered light) - Indoors is not enough light for them (often).

Phalenopsis (Moth) Orchids are best Indoors, with bright filtered light (eg next to a bright window) - Outdoors, their leaves will burn.

Keep in mind that most plants will not thrive (or will die), indoors away from any bright window - except some Glossy green leaved (deep shadw) tropical plants, that don't produce any flowers.

Phalenopsis/ Moth Orchids are my favourite - I must confess that none of mine survived more than 12 months (or so).

I usually ended up over-watering them - they got root rot & died.

My Zamioculcas ZZ Plant is my biggest (virtually only) Indoor plant success (so far) - It's been inside, against a bright window for 2 years.

In that time it has doubled in size, & looks very healthy (in a small pot)

You don't get any flowers off Zamioculcas plants though - just lovely glossy green leaves.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 10:36 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I don't have a lot of windows anywhere I have furniture to keep plants @Adge so that may be problemmatic. I do have some very healthy and long lasting plants in my kitchen with a little filtered light but they are all non-flowering, green leaved plants.

Do orchids need a certain constant temperature too?

1,861 - 1,870 of 2,720

1...186 187 188...272