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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor26 Dec 2020, 10:53 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Jumping spiders cannot bite you @Zoe7

They are too small.

Fleas scare me- because they bite me, then bounce away before I can get them.

Fleas are built like Reinforced Armoured Tanks.

If you squeeze them as hard as you can- they still happily bounce away unharmed.

You have to pinch a flea between 2 fingernails- the only thing hard enough to squish it.

Plus Ticks - oh they're horrible things.

They got me in Brisbane (1991), & one got me here a few years ago.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor26 Dec 2020, 11:00 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Any spider that jumps is still scary @Adge - whether they bite or not I do not like them.

Luckily where I live there are rarely ticks but I do worry about them (and snakes) on the track I used to take Toby. With all his fur they would be hard to find on him. He has never had fleas either but they are horrible little things too.

What was the tick bite like? Was it panful?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 Dec 2020, 1:00 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Creepy crawlies, yikes!

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 11:43 am AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yes Creepy-crawlies @Former-Member Sorry.

Tick in Qld (1991) burrowed its way right into my arm pit @Zoe7

The one here, did the same to my leg.

They secrete a numbing chemical - So that's why you often don't feel them, until they've been there 24 hours or more.

It hurts far more when they've been taken out - because no numbing agent anymore.

Very itchy & sore for days afterwards.

Jelly Cat occasionally brings some fleas into the house - Which she has probably picked up, from Flirting with those naughty Tomcats....

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 1:45 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Naughty Jelly Cat lol Cat and Tobes quickly run off any stray cats we have in our yard - Toby actually protects Cat by getting in the middle of her and any other cat - it is adorable really.

I can only imagine the pain of the ticks @Adge Hope you never have anymore.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Sam3Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 2:19 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

That's an amazing effort for your hubby @Emelia8 I hope he appreciated it but for what it's worth I think it matters!

what's this thread about mostly - interesting title?!

@Emelia8 @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Adge

@Anastasia

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 2:29 pm AEDT

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member started this thread @Sam3 and it is pretty much what the title says. It is a place for her to chat, vent, get support (hope that is okay to say EOR). When I want to 'find' or Adge - this is where I mostly come.

How is today going for you @Former-Member ?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2020, 2:53 pm AEDT