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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 2:24 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sending you a hug today @Zoe7 and hoping life gets a bit brighter.

💙💚💙

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 2:26 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thank you @Eve7 Hugs for you too Hon

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 3:01 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Zoe7 Pizza - Yum....

If I ever have a Pizza (rarely), it's a frozen one from Coles.

I agree Re: Dr Phil - though he is far better than other caustic Hosts.

I'm not a fan of any of those type of shows.

I feel very embarrassed (myself) for the people on show - "Whose Dirty Laundry" is being openly displayed in public (on TV).

I find it traumatising to watch - most certainly would be traumatising for those people (on show).

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 4:58 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Not a fan either @Adge - in-fact I can say I do not like them at all. I don't understand how people can publicly show off their pain and put others in a traumatic situation in doing so. I especially hate the way some of those shows 'trick' others in attending and then attack something they have done or not done. ...and people pay to watch it

I like one of the Coles pizzas also but use it as the base to build my own.It takes about the same time to make and cook as it would to go out and get one so I not only save money on the pizza but also petrol - and it is much nicer than any bought at any of the pizza chains.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Yep "Trickery & manipulation" (those shows) @Zoe7 You're Spot-On with that description.

It's a Walk to the Dark Side of the Force (of Humanity)....

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 5:49 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hugs Bella @Former-Member

I have always appreciated the presence of diverse groups in my church.

However like @Adge @Zoe7 I cannot take Dr Phil and those type of shows seriously.

I am also triggered simply by casual American tv it goes deep into trauma from my American in laws, inspite of my ongoing hospitality. They presumed so much about the world and do not ask open ended questions. I have to work hard to counter my discomfort as so many people still talk about them American and low quality tv shows as authoritative.

We are all so similar and so different. EOR I thought our discussion about anger was still productive, but anger, power and authority are all very different.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 6:17 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Appleblossom @Adge Yes agree.

@Former-Member I am very aware here that our discussion has focussed on the show rather than your intent of the highlighting of grief and loss - and wanted to acknowledge that. It is hard for us to cope with loss and we all have our own ways of doing that. I still cannot believe my friend is gone and am putting off watching the funeral for many reasons. He was one I would usually turn to to discuss these type of things and not being able to do that is both heartbreaking and makes me feel so alone again. I certainly am not accepting he is gone

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 7:06 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sorry @Former-Member I was not intending to divert discussion away from grief & loss.

Just liking @Zoe7 's perspective on Dr Phil's show - something I could relate to.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Zoe7Senior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor29 Sept 2020, 9:46 pm AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member

Sorry. @Zoe7 is sensitive, hope you were not put out EOR. I have a lot of confusion and shifting feelings about what is alright to share and what is best to cover up, what is discretion and what is keeping bad secrets etc.

Grief and Loss can be difficult to talk about even when we all have experienced it one way or another.

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