having a bad morning

Thank you @Former-Member. I managed to have a good day at work, got lots done but now i am so tired. My body is aching.

@Former-Member I love your new picture.

I am punishing myself yet again. I cancelled my gym session this morning. That's two sessions i have cancelled.

The trouble with me is that I have all good intentions of starting something. I go for the first time still with good intentions and then all of a sudden - BANG - I stop.

I do have another appt with my personal trainer in 2 weeks time, but i am not sure.

Why do i keep doing this? With everything in my life i always jump the gun, start up something and crash i stop. And then it's a vicious cycle of beating myself up again for not going, eating so much food, like stuffing myself because of not achieving something in my life and actually completing it. Then i feel angry, frustrated. And it's the same over and over again.

I can never achieve something for me. My personal trainer even gave me a sheet of exercises to do at home in between seeing him. Do you think I have done them?? - NO. I feel so hopeless.

I chop and change so often that I can't keep up with what I am wanting to do. Can never make final decisions on my own. I really hate it;.

Hi @Former-Member

thank you for your post. I seem to struggle with this a lot and even at work, I will go from one job to another then another and then back to the first job. If only i could finish one job first then I'd be right.

@utopia

Hi my friend, haven't spoken to you for a few days. Today after writing something on here I was triggered so I called the CAT team and had to leave a message. Eventually after 2 hours they called back. The lady i spoke to was nice, she asked so many questions ie. self harm, suicide, medication, sleep, etc etc. She suggested I talk to my psych and let him know I am not coping too well or speak with my own GP. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow morning so i will talk to hiim.

I've been a bit down lately. But this afternoon the sun came out and hubby and I took jersey down the beach to play with the ball. She loved it and I sat and enjoyed the sun and then we walked along the beach.

How are you? I am sorry sometimes I forget to ask you how you are coping. But it's not that i don't think about you.

Aww thank you @utopia jersey is a special dog to me. You know I have always had little dogs throughout my life and jersey is the first big dog. But OMG she is so damn smart, i am sure she knows what i say to her, actually she does. When i say to her 'jersey lets go and hang the clothes outside' she runs to the bck door. and when she is upstairs with us at night, if she wants to go outside for a drink she will come up to me and then run to the sliding door and sit; if i ignore her she will come back again and run to the door.

Yeah, it's amazing how the weather affects our moods. Now we have the heater on as its cold, But tomorrow 24 degrees, wow!!! I think i may even go to the beach on my own and sit there for a while with a book.

I hope you can work out a plan with your psych about your drinking. Wishing you well,

take care xxxooo

@BlueBay @utopia

Sending you both big hugs .....

💐💕💐💕💐