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having a bad morning

having a bad morning

I am feeling that my life at the moment is crap. I am so depressed and find that more so in the mornings. I hate myself so much, the way I feel, the way I act and behave. I know people will say to me 'oh just get over it' or 'you're not trying hard enough' - well to those people who say that: Do you have a mental illness; do you know what it's like to have depression and feel so dark that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; do you self harm to get rid of your emotions and to feel the pain; or do you think about suicide because it's all too much and you can't handle the pain anymore - NO. So don't tell me to just 'move on' or 'stop being too sensitive'.

I am not having a good morning this morning; tears are flowing as i am typing. And I have to get ready for work; damn work. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living and why?

I really don't know how i am going go today at work; I feel so depressed. 😞

1047 replies

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In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Thanks @Former-Member .... 💕

Hope you find something great ....

Enjoy your day 😊

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Thank u @Former-Member.
U to. I hope you find a dress easily ☺👗👛💄🎀❤

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@Faith-and-Hope. What a busy weekend. You msy need to find time just to be by yourself for 5 minutes and breath.
I wish you all the best this weekend. Not long til the wedding and then hopefully you can get a well deserved rest

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Hey @Former-Member

I'm sorry for not responding, thanks for reminding me!!! Had a bit too much on yesterday.

The guy i saw that did the EMDR was good. I really think I need it for the other 2 abuses as well as dealing with my mum.

Thank you for encouraging me and giving me faith and hope that we can feel better.

Take care. xxoo

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Hi @utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Decadian@NikNik@CherryBomb

What a day!! chopping and changing appts, not sure which one to go with. I made an appt this morning with the guy that i saw a few years ago for EMDR. They had me on a waiting list.

Then yesterday I rang another psychologist who my therapist recommended. I made a booking to see her on monday.

In the meantime, I found out that my therapist had spoken to my psychiatrist yesterday late afternoon and that my psychiatrist had recommended a female psychologist who deals with EMDR, childhood abuse, depression, anxiety and BPD. And she is only 15 mins away from home, where the others were further.

So just now I cancelled both other appts and rang this lady to make a appt. I asked the receptionist lots of questions as in what she is experienced in and it's all of the above, exactly what I need. And she is in her forties. The only problem is that i can't see her until middle November, so i am on her waiting list. And apparently she has 12 people on her waiting list. Just shows how good she is.

I have a good feeling about this psychologist. And being a female is a good thing. Even though i am really sad about leaving my other therapist, I feel this is in the right direction.

Boy, what a day of making appts and then cancelling appts.

I am now happy that i have made this appt. I also spoke to my therapist and told him i will see him in a fortnight and i will probably still see him until November, but i will spread out my appts. There will be no need to see him weekly. I may even make it 3-4 weeks.

I was quite emotional yesterday, last night and even today, but now right now, I am okay.

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay. Do you know ehat you have done today - what you have achieved?
You had a day of messy appointment making and cancelations. You interviewed the receptionist about the female psychologist.
You phoned your old psychologist and TOLD HIM that you will have spaced out appointments with him until the new therapist os available.
YOU took control. You made it through this mess. YOU held it together & YOU made plans on what is best for you.
I think hubby has to take you out to dinner tonight. You need to celebrate.
Am so happy for you

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Sooooo impressed @BlueBay .... 😄❣

You've got your wings on today .... and look how far and high you have flown ...

So well done ❣

🌷💗💕🌷💗💕🌷💜

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Oh that's great @BlueBay 😀 A lady psychologist who does EMDR. And close by, even better. I have a lady for the EMDR. I had to wait a bit to see her as well. Now I book my appointments weeks ahead, so I know I can see her weekly. I really think you're on the right track. 😀

Dealing with the abuse is the way to go for healing. It's awful trying to live with the pain amd turmoil inside, I know. Now you have hope, so glad. Take care while waiting to see her. 💜

Hi @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @utopia 💜
Been shopping for hours, just got home and guess what? No dress. 😯😢
I'll keep looking. How has your day been?

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Oh bugger! @Former-Member...always the way. When u go looking you don't find, when your not. You do!
Hope the venture was fun though. ☺❤

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Hey @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

I didn't realise @utopia what I had achieved until you pointed it out to me. All I could see was me making and cancelling appointments until I was happy with the one I have made now.

I did get through my messy week, didn't I? When I look back at this week it started off terrible with Monday niece's anniversary of her death, Tuesday horrible psych session; Wednesday back in hospital; Thursday therapist telling me he can't help me anymore which left me totally shocked and emotional and today Friday - wow today was a completely different day. And for the first time this week I didn't even have the urge to call the CAT team.

So yes i did achieve quite a lot today. Thanks everyone for helping me along my rough patch.

take care everyone xxxooo

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