having a bad morning

You are having a rough time @BlueBay

This is pretty normal - while you are feeling this bad in hospital this is where you should be - you are right - your health comes first

Dealing with our demons is hard work - if I try and peel back the layers I can see - I can remember - when I felt as if I couldn't stay in the hospital a moment longer - and I couldn't stand being at home either -

But yes - the circumstances of my life were too hard - and I had to deal with it

So - it does take time - and I know from my own life how hard it can be

BTW - the weather is atrocious - I am ready to go crackers myself - I feel isolated by the weather -

Someone else wrote that they only go out for appointments - and right now this is true for me too

So - you have the weather to factor into the way you are feeling

Take your time - you need time

Lots of virtuals hugs

Decadian

Hi @BlueBay

You do sound a bit better. The occasional meltdown is to be expected - as you take that baby step forward. Your husband sounds like a good, reasonable man (like my husband). We are lucky.

I suppose in regards to letting go of what and who has hurt us in the past starts with asking the relevant questions; "what is the point of holding on?". "Does it serve any purpose or help the current situation?". "Does it hurt more and is harder to hold on or is it harder to resign to what was, what is and let go?" Then make a choice and don't look back.

I looked within myself and asked "what exactly am I holding onto from the hurt in the past that is so hard to let go? The answer was "anger". And when I was depressed that is what I was holding onto - that is what was keeping me there in that dark place. Anger of what was done to me in the past and /or the present. That's the scar that drags us down emotionally.

So I let it go. Then the work begins on building myself up repairing the damage with the new, valued people who I can trust, those who truly care as the rest don't matter; and with purpose in my life - learning to value me. Yesterday is gone and cannot be changed. It's learning to live with what we cannot change, improving what we can. That's how I get by.

I feel the essence of healing mentally, psychologically and emotionally is working on our self esteem issues and learning to believe in ourselves; reinventing ourselves and who we are and liking that person as being valuable; placing our full focus on the latter and on those "who love us now" - they are our family now whether it be blood related, by marriage or friends. That will enable us to let go and move on. Bringing our mind back to what and whom is important to us now and giving that our all. To me that is what life is all about and I won't allow anyone or anything to take that away from me anymore.

Dig your heels in @BlueBay. Don't let the anger eat you up - whether it is justified or not. Let it go as its only us being hurt by anger keeping us there in the emotional prison of the past.

Sounds like you are already taking steps to move on - hope the sale of your home goes smooth as you embark on a new start, a new beginning. Have a restful, peaceful sleep my friend xx

Hi @Former-Member

I've just tried to pop you an email - but it seems you may not have got it yet.

I just wanted to let you know that each time you edit your post, anyone who has subscribed to this thread will get an email notification.

We never want to discourage people from editing their post, but I just wanted to let you know that's what happens.

Take care,

Nik

Sending you big hugs @BlueBay

Be brave ....

💜💐💜

Hi @NikNik

So sorry - I wasn't aware. I received your email and have replied.

Hi @BlueBay

You did the right thing telling the nurse. It could be an adverse reaction to medication or therapy/group sessions (too close to home emotionally). Best they are aware so they can help you better. I do hope you can obtain those hormone tests soon. Hang in there @BlueBay as the only way now is up. Thinking of you and sending you a warm hug.