having a bad morning

Thinking of you @BlueBay

Why can't i just let it all out and cry and cry and cry

why do i bottle things up so much

my stomach is playing up shocking with pains

i have no choice but to go to work damn work

why is everything so difficult

including my life

stupid tears, stupid person thats all i do lately

you know what - forget the meds, therapy, hospital

nothing works

i just want some help

Hello @BlueBay

Sorry to come on and read that you are still struggling so. Did you ever seek advice/treatment from a specialist for peri/menopause? You are at the right age for its occurance and display all the mental/emotional symptoms. Constant crying and feeling the way you do is so typical of menopause when it's at its worse and some women who have such a horrendous time suffering with the major depression and chronic anxiety that the menopause creates; can end up in hospital. But treating it effectively the cause needs to be addressed.

Do you also struggle with sleep at all and/or experience hot flushes/ migraines/headaches/bodily aches and in particular being worse emotionally/mentally/psychologically leading up to and at that time of the month - progressively becoming in that state more reguarly over time?

When coming into and being menopausal everything else happening in our lives can become overwhelming and extremely difficult to cope with (work, relationship, family problems, health problems etc), and the past emotionally/psychologically will come back to the fore of our minds to haunt us (rise from the subconscious). Especially if the woman had a bad childhood or experienced prior hurts. That was my experience.

So it's no small matter for some women and not all medical professionals understand this (many don't). Others who haven't experienced menopause or are unknowledgable in that area - will see the suffer as a sook or negative - inflicting salt into the wound. That's why seeing a recommended specialist whom you know through research/word of mouth does understand is a must.

Hormonal replacement therapy helped me considerably - I feel so much better on them after 5 years that I am hesitate to come off them (I should be considering that now). It's worth a try my friend, especially seeing nothing else is working - you can't go on like this. Sending you a warm hug xx

Well done @BlueBay for picking up the phone and making that call.

That's got the ball rolling again.

You have already been bumped up the waiting list, but let's see if they can get you in as a priority now.

If you are not holding together at work, at least let's hope that results in moving things along faster, if nothing else.

Big hugs .... hang in there .... your friends here are behind you so keep telling us how you are going ....

❤️💕

Hi @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@utopia@Decadian

My GP has tested me for menopause with a blood test and it came back negative. But I still think that I may be going through the start of it.

Maybe when I go into hospital I can ask for a blood test again.

So I had a terrible day at work. I kept to myself and just worked as best I could. Didn't really want to be there but I have no choice atm. My co-worker friend came up to me and asked if she has done or said something wrong because she has noticed that I am not the same. I broke down and said no it's me; i am not coping and i need to go to hospital.

She suggested I have a break and I rang my psych. Recdeptionist said he was back today and she put me in to see him at 1.30pm. Left work to see him and I broke down in his room. We talked about the hospital stuff up and he said he saw that they up bumped me up the list. But he said he will call them as I left and ask for priority. So maybe Monday next week??? Not sure. He can see how distressed i am and i told him i can't wait another 7-10 days. He knew i was serious.

And even better he bulk billed me for today because of the hospital stuff up and because he never returned my call last week when i was distressed.

Keeping my fingers crossed this hospital stay comes very very soon.

And my son arirves tonight at midnight. Hubby and older son are going to pick him up, i will stay home in bed.

feeling mentally exhausted, drained but a slight positive window of opportunity to go into hospital really soon.

I am so glad i got to see my psych today.

Hi @BlueBay

Oh yes, the negative blood tests for menopause!!!; - had many such diagnosis's when I was in "the midst of peri-menopause and suffering the same symptoms as you". What your doctor is actually saying to you by telling you the tests are stating you are not menopausal is "that your oestrogen, progesterone etc levels "are not low enough medically to be in "full blown menopause". That doesn't mean you are not suffering the lowering of these hormones gradually (peri-menopause) and are suffering the consequent symptoms of depression, anxiety, migraines, body aches and pains etc. When these levels dip up and down - so does our moods and emotions are all over the place. That flatuation of hormones (peri-menopause) won't show up on one blood test - the diagnosis is mainly symptomatic and age-related.

Your GP also does not have any previous oestrogen blood levels to compare with that would show that your hormones are starting to dip. It's just not low enough yet to be diagnosed as menopause - and all women are different. It is a very inadequate guide.

To gain a correct and adequate diagnosis @BlueBay you would need to see a specialist in the area of peri-menopause/menopause.

Your oestrogen levels etc would be starting to dip - "but not low enough to be "offical menopause". So with this flatuation of hormones you would also be experiencing mood swings, irritability, anxiety, poorer sleep as well as low moods. It can mimic bi-polar. Some women can feel suicidal when experiencing these symptoms/mood swings of peri-menopause/menopause - only to be told the tests of oestrogen are not low enough to be diagnosed with menopause. It means zilch my friend. As I can read you already know in yourself.

You really need to see a specialist in the area of peri-menopause to seek the help you need. Everything you have been posting here that you have suffered - I went through exactly the same due largely to peri-menopause (anxiety/depression/mood swings), together with grief, loss and acute stress. A combination - but the hormonal imbalance was the huge contributor. Until that was fixed (hormonal replacement) I could not deal with the other issues (all too overwhelming). Perhaps ask for a referral to a specialist if you can ASAP. I did go on anti-depressants etc at the time but found the HRT much more effective as the other was t enough for me (still on hormones and nothing else now).

I hope you find the help and relief you need soon. Hugs ❤️

OMG @Former-Member you ae so right; that is exctly how i am feeling atm. Yes yes and yes, you get it!!!

I will ask my GP for a referral when I next see him. Do i need to see a specialist that deal with per-menopause? Nt sure if there are any close to me.

Do you (or anyone else) know of any websites that I can look up and get more info. Does anyone know of any good specialists in Melbourne? not sure if I can ask this quesiton on here??

Thank you so much @Former-Member; I feel that you totally understand. Trouble is GP's are too blaise with this type of stuff and just brush it off so quickly.

Hi @BlueBay

I do get you totally as I have been through it. And yes, most GPs brush it off (it's natural, what all women go through etc). It's not the same for all women and it can make some feel like they are going crazy and can take no more. It's a medical dilemma that needs more awareness. So many are labelled with MI when it's a matter of levelling out the hormones again with hormone replacement.

Dont allow the GPs to brush you off with this medical issue - insist on a referral and if they argue find a GP who will listen and give you one. You know your body and how you feel better than they do. It's not something you can brush of and it can be treated and will give you relief and your life back. Worth pushing for.

I don't live in Melbourne and it is not easy to find a good specialist in this area of expertise but certainly they are out there. It's such a pity you don't live in the NSW region as I could recommend an excellent specialist who not only treated adequately my hormonal imbalance but other health issues I had. Leave it with me and I will do some research and see what I can find for you in the Melbourne city region. I will get back to you ASAP. Hang in there my friend as you will eventually get through this difficult time in your life and feel better once again. Sending lots of love x