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having a bad morning

having a bad morning

I am feeling that my life at the moment is crap. I am so depressed and find that more so in the mornings. I hate myself so much, the way I feel, the way I act and behave. I know people will say to me 'oh just get over it' or 'you're not trying hard enough' - well to those people who say that: Do you have a mental illness; do you know what it's like to have depression and feel so dark that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; do you self harm to get rid of your emotions and to feel the pain; or do you think about suicide because it's all too much and you can't handle the pain anymore - NO. So don't tell me to just 'move on' or 'stop being too sensitive'.

I am not having a good morning this morning; tears are flowing as i am typing. And I have to get ready for work; damn work. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living and why?

I really don't know how i am going go today at work; I feel so depressed. 😞

1047 replies

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In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

I know @Decadian

I am so angry. I am glad in a way that I have had 2 days to calm down because if I had of spoken to my psych on friday or the receptionist I would have lost it.

So tomorrow I will see if they return my call as i left a message on friday. Boy I was angry, so damn angry. It's not fair, I feel so let down by my psych for (a) not returning my call on Thursday and (b) not even having me on the waiting list. The last time I saw him he said to me 'well i'll see you next in hospital" - what happen to that??

@Decadian I so need to be in hosptial now. how much longer do i have to wait? i need my peace and quiet, my safe haven, support from the hospital staff; i just need time to me.

I'm sorry i am raving on a bit. Are you okay? I really hope you are.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Don't worry about what you are saying @BlueBay - I understand - you have been badly let down

And I am well - I have been busy doing lots of washing today - I had a suitcase full of travel worn clothes and they are all washed and I hope I get at least one bra dry today and my PJs

I'm getting pretty tired now - and I want to get up to the shops this afternoon -

But walk - I have walked and walked - when I go away I go to small cities - because I get lost and luckily I had good shoes - it was worth every dollar to be fitted with shoes for my feet

All the best with your psyche Tuesday - I seem to remember at the beginning of all of this he wanted you to go to hospital - or was that his locum when he was away

Let's hope it works for you this week

Decadian

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Bloody husband!!!!!!

We did our grocery shopping this morning. But we didn't buy meat for tonight's dinner. And because he forgot to fill the gas bottle and buy the meat - it is somehow my fault. omg . he is ranting and raving and has just left in a real shit.

Why do i feel like i have to remind everyone to do stuff around the house. Why is it my job to remind everyone. Far out, i am so sick of being taken advantage of.

Well bad luck he can go now and buy the meat, i have done 4 loads of washing today, washed 2 sets of sheets and blankets today. i have folded all the washing and put it away. I didn't ask him to get the washing off the line.

I am now going to vac the carpet because no one has done it yet, so i better do it otherwise he may crack it with that as well.

It just shits me how even the kids just expect things done. I am so over doing it all. If i don't clean the bathrooms weekly no one else will do it. if I don't sweep the floor daily either before i go to work or after dinner no one else will.

Grrrrr just a bit of a rant. No wonder why my blood pressure goes up and i have a headache.

Vacuum cleaner here i come, might take my anger out on the carpet!!!!

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Wowweeee @BlueBay

It's time to go on strike - don't vacuum, don't sweep - get some snacks or easy food for yourself and clean one part of the bathroom for yourself and take care of yourself

You're not well - and what your husband forgets is not your fault

And stop doing things when others won't

Take it easy - please

Decadian

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Finally the receptionist has called me. They have said my psych wants to see me tomorrow morning. Hospital rang to say they spoke to my psych and I am back on waiting list but they have pushed me up the list because of the confusion. So I'll see what my psych says tomorrow.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

That is so good to hear @BlueBay

I'm hoping really hard that you get in there this week

You really need this and I hope you can stay as long as you need to

Decadian

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Glad they're getting I sorted out for you @sadgilrl

💜🌷💜

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@Faith-and-Hope@Decadian

My psych's rooms called me this afternoon - can't see him tomorrow as he is sick. So I have to wait yet another week (next tuesday).

I don't know if i can wait this long anymore. I feel i have waited enough.

I am seeing my GP tomorrow as he wants to check my BP and make sure I am okay. At least i will still see him.

It's so frustrating.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

How incredibly frustrating @BlueBay ....

You are doing so well with this. I think most people would be tearing their hair out ! Keep your calm .... keep swimming ....

Your son is nearly home, so that is your next major distraction ...

I looks like you will be going to the airport to see him back in ..... can you take him a helium balloon or something to surprise him ? Are you going to cook something special for him .... a family favourite perhaps ?

💜🌷

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@Faith-and-Hope

I don't think I will go to the airport. He doesn't arrive until midnight Wednesday. And I can't have time off the next day. I will be far too tired to go to work if I went. My husband is taking two days off so he and our older son will go to the airport. We live over an hour away from the airport.

Yes I will make his favourite meal - lasagna. Actually will have to get hubby to make it because I will be at work!!!

It is so frustrating, I feel like I can't take anymore frustration. I am glad i am seeing my doctor tomorrow.

How was your day today @Faith-and-Hope ?

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