having a bad morning

Hi @BlueBay

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way tonight.

You need to try to turn away from this line of thinking .... turn off the stream of negative thoughts, or increase the positive ones so the negative ones are over-ridden ....

If you can't do this by yourself @BlueBay, then call someone to help you.

Calm yourself with mindfulness, measured breathing, calming music ....

Call Lifeline if you need to. Just keep working to get out of the place you are feeling lost in right now ....

Lifeline - 13 11 14

💜🌷

Hi @BlueBay

I'm sorry to read that you're not doing so well.

I'm worried about you - do you have any strategies or distractions you can utilise to take care of yourself tonight?

Did something happen to trigger these feelings (apologise, I haven't been online much lately, so I may have missed something)

Hi @NikNik@Faith-and-Hope

I have been chatting with Lifeline. I am feeling confused, lost, numb, sad, depressed, very stressed and it is escalating. I was doing okay but all of a sudden this week my anxiety, physical pain, i am so stressed.

angry at a few people; i am so tired of trying, i know i am so negative and down tonight. i just can't pinpoint what exactly, think its a combination of a lot of things, including missing my son.

i just want a brreak, i want peace and quiet from the world, from my mind, my negative thoughts.

thank you for your support tonight. i can't shake this feeling of nothing.

Hi @BlueBay

Can you put yourself through a hot shower, have a hot drink - hot chocolate or chamomile tea - and go to bed to try and sleep ?

You sound so mind-weary, maybe that will work ..... give your body all the cues to go to bed like dimming the lights, getting comfy in snuggly pj's, etc ..... things might be on a different page in the morning ....

Gentle hugs 💕

@Faith-and-Hope - I couldn't have said it better myself.

@BlueBay I think you don't give yourself enough credit for the level of insight you have. I think you're 100% right - it seems like a combination of things.

Have you done much work with mindfulness and / or meditation before? What you described as wanting 'a break, i want peace and quiet from the world, from my mind, my negative thoughts.' is exactly what mindfulness and meditation aims to achieve.

Faith-and-Hope had some great suggestions. Would you also consider listening to a guided meditation (there are a fair few on YouTube) or a mindfulness exercise (I find the Smiling Mind app really good for this)?

Hello @BlueBay

I'm sorry I wasn't here to support you last night and I'm sorry to hear you being so distressed. I hope with all my heart that you found some peace and rest last night.

@NikNik is right, you have so much insight and surely it is a combination of things, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. The amount of times my treating team tells me not to be so harsh to myself and to be gentle and kind, I actually cannot count anymore. But they are right. Very slowly I am starting to make decisions to be kind to myself. If that is a break in hospital as @utopia suggested, do that. Go and see your GP, try to get an appointment with a psych earlier... There are options for you.

One thing I realised last week, is that my safety plan had stopped working. Do you have a safety plan? Can you identify what is not working anymore? Can you make it a priority to update your safety plan? It was the first thing I did this week with my therapist. My main problems were the soothing did not work for the current flashbacks I am getting from complex trauma and also my reason to live was "not important" when I felt down. So now I have more reasons, as little as they may be, and also some consequences in my safety plan for people (and animals) that I love and would not like to hurt. My reasons need to be tangible, like a holiday with friends in October, going for a date with my husband this week etc. for me they have to be real at that time and I have also written a couple of pro-and-con lists some days last week to decide what options I have.

I am not sure if you are on medication,but I do have daily medication but also extra meds to help me calm and I can use the dose flexibly as needed - I know my single max dose and my daily max dose. And as much as I hate to admit "that I am weak and cannot cope with daily tasks or even meeting friends", I do take it and I know the side effects (tiredness & addicitive). But it works for me right now.

@BlueBay I send you warm wishes and a gentle hug and I hope today will be a better day and please ring your psych and let them know how you are.

Take good care of yourself xoxo