having a bad morning

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I am going to rest this weekend again. Seeing my therapist in the morning, then blood tests and then coming home to rest.

I was just thinking that I may just go to visit one of my old co-worker. I feel that I can sit and talk to one or two people but no more than that at the moment.

If I feel okay I may include a short walk down the beach, see how I feel.

That all sounds really positive @BlueBay ❣

Whatever the physical cause, that nasty BP is telling you and all your family that you need lots of rest and TLC at the moment .... keep on that track and I hope the weekend is kind to you ...

💐💕

Hi everyone 🙂

I had a session this morning with my regular therapist. It went okay althought parts of it I was getting very frustrated because I didn't want to hear the truth. And i felt like a little kid wanting to throw a huge tantrum!!! Trouble is my therapist knows me too well, having seen me now for almost 5 yrs.

I went and had my blood and urine tests for my kidneys and next week i have to have an ultrasound. Still feel achy all over, not really in a good mood. I have just cleaned the bathrooms, vac the lounge and now on here. I may go for a small walk later with Jersey.

Went to see MIL in nursing home with hubby. It's depressing, really sad and I don't know if I can keep going not that i go very often, maybe every 3 weeks. But my hubby needs my support, he doesn't want to go at all. Counsellor coming this week to chat to us about dementia. It's so horrible and i get so emotional everytime i leave.

I don't know if i feel sorry for myself, or just am so depressed. Maybe it's because i miss my parents, more my dad than my mum.

It's grief on a lot of areas for us at the moment. Financially stressing again, nothing has changed. Although we have been asked by the banks to increase our credit card, i so much want to do it. But i know what will happen if i do.

There's just so much on my mind atm that i can't think.

@BlueBay

I don't know what the "truth" that you don't want to hear is -

But whatever it is - I don't think it's self-pity - I think self-pity would not have so many components - your life is really complicated

I'm getting a headache - I have been doing a lot of reseach on line - and it's time to get away from the screen - but yes I centainly know you need small groups of people - work must be something that is on the going from morning to night

But just a warning - if the bank wants you to increase your credit - that is the bank talking - not your wallet - I would be very careful - it took me a long time to get out of credit-card debt for a very small amount - it was pretty hard - just giving yourselves another problem for further along

Yes - your MIL problem is depressing - it makes me glad I kept away from my mother for her last 2.5 years - and I don't feel guilty

I did visit my grandmother in a nursing home for many years - she would forget but then - she was always nice to me - it was a pleasure going

Thinking of you

Decadian

I'm getting off the computer and taking a walk - I had one but my back was aching - some fresh air on such a lovely afternoon will be good for a headache

[hugs]

Hi @BlueBay

My 'like' was just to say I'm here and listening to you ...

Baby steps can work like this too @BlueBay ... you can make a deal with yourself to only go every, let's say third, or fifth, or whatever number you choose, visit to your MIL. That way you are honouring a commitment to supporting your hubby, which means a lot to you, but you are honouring a commitment to support yourself too, because you find it distressing ....

It's bit like a mini contract with yourself. I do that when I don't feel like doing something and can't get motivated. I set up a mini contract to do whatever it is in baby steps, little pieces, then do something I enjoy or that relaxes me, like a trade-off. That way it's not all one thing or the other, it's a bit of both.

🌷🌸

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

Yeah I don't think i will go too often. I think maybe every 3 weekend. And the day that I do go I will do something for myself in the afernoon eg. knit, rest, gardening.

We are seeing a counsellor this thursday reg. her dementia so it will be interesting to see what she says as to how we should handle the situation with his mum.

Baby steps, yes i always forget and expect big steps. have to remember bit by bit.

@Faith-and-Hope@Decadian@utopia

I can't remember where I wrote about this but I thought I would just put it here.

Yesterday I was invited to a luncheon with the girls from my old workplace. I was so anxious that I decided to not go. I emailed the lady organising it and explained about my anxiety and depression. There would have been about 20 people, too many for me.

So this morning I get a text msg from a co-worker who I got on really well with. She told me she missed me at yesterday's lunch and would like to catch up with me next week. I replied back saying yes of course i will catch up with her. So we are going to have lunch. I am okay with seeing one or two people but more than that no way. I thanked her for remembering me and sending me the text, otherwise i wouldn't have caught up with anyone.

Took Jersey for a brisk walk this morning, even though it was cold it was nice. Just to feel the cold air on my face 🙂

Went to a local cafe with hubby for a coffee. Now home, and i think i will either knit or have a nap; or maybe both!!!

Hope everyone's day is going okay.

That all sounds really great @BlueBay ❣

Its lovely to hear you in good spirits this morning 😊

I hope you have a peaceful day.

💜🌷

@BlueBay - this looks very productive - you have something to look forward to

And these things will help -

I think I need both a nap and a walk - I have been awake since early this morning - and I like walking in my new shoes - but I think my back is programmed to walk badly - and it's having its say-so

All the best

Decadian