having a bad morning

@Faith-and-HopeGood to hear your dad is home with you. Yeah I;ve heard that Fisocrem is really good, must buy some for our store for the customers (thanks for the reminder)

Hopefully the cream will help you. Take care @Faith-and-Hope I hope you sleep well tonight. xxoo

Hi @BlueBay

One more day passed while you are waiting - it seems to be going on forever - for me - it must be even longer for you

You did well to keep to yourself and keeping quiet -

It must be really hard - we are all with you while you are going through this -

Decadian

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I hope your headache not too bad and that you Dad is well enough for you to go to bed soon

Most likely you won't sleep well anyway - I hope you are okay too

Decadian

@Decadian

I can't wait to go back to hospital, i really can't wait. And i still don't know when. I know my hubby and kids will be fine without me; i just want to go now.

I am so tired, tired of crying, tired of trying, tired of pretending. Don't have any energy to do any knittingn tonight.

Thanks @BlueBay @Decadian

💗💕

I unserstand @BlueBay

I think you should let your doctor - psyche - which ever one is going to admit you to hospital - and let him know right away

That is a terrible way to feel - I know

I am thinking of you

Decadian

I received an email from an old co-worker a few weeks ago inviting me to a reunion lunch. It was for tomorrow. I accepted the invitation and thought it would be really nice to see everyone again, as it's been about 3 years.

But then this week I got a reminder email and I am so anxious now about going that today I emailed the lady and told her I cannot go. I told her that my depression and anxiety is not good and i really can't mix with so many people.

I feel terrible in doing that but I am really anxious about seeing so many people. I probably don't mind 1 or 2 people but not 20-30.

Now i feel that they will be judging me tomorrow because i am not there. I can't face everyone. I think because that's where i was working when all my memories of being abused came out; and my depression started while i was working there.

The girls were supportive but i just can't go. I am angry because i am missing out on seeing everyone.

If only i was stronger 😞

Hi @BlueBay

Even though you are missing out on seeing everyone , you have done something really special for yourself here ... you have honoured your feelings .... you have acknowledged that this was the period of time in your life when the terrible memories surfaced, and that you were not going to revisit those circumstances by catching up with these people at this time.

That doesn't stop you from catching up with them for the next reunion .... you might have healed more by then, and be feeling strong enough to go. Until then, keep noticing how you feel, and doing what you have to do to honour your feelings, the same way you have this time ....

Well done ❣.

Don't be angry .... or don't stay angry .... find ways to soothe your feelings because you are worth more than staying angry all the time. You are worth finding little joys to help you get past feeling angry and hurt .... and you are doing this a lot of the time.

You are going for walks on the beach. You are knitting, and playing with Jersey, you are seeking counselling, going to community classes, taking recovery days for your blood pressure ... these are self-care actions and they are important.