having a bad morning

Hi @Decadian @Faith-and-Hope

I saw my psych this afternoon, we talked about meds and hospital stay. I am on the waiting list, he thinks maybe next week or week after. He is not sure whether he will up my meds or change them.

Tonight I am feeling a bit light headed, had the acupuncture done. Headache has subsided but every time I cough my head hurts. don't know why i feel sick.

I'm come home late and nothing is done for tea. So i am not cooking, looks like pizza tonight.

Hopefully i will be okay for work tomorrow.

Hi @BlueBay

I am so glad you have seen your psyche - and you don't have to wait too long to get into hospital

I am really tired tonight - I am going to bed now but I will catch up tomorrow

And really glad your migraine is a bit easier

Decadian

Hi @Decadian @Faith-and-Hope

Thanks @utopia for your post. I hope to one day see the woo hoo in what I do; but at the moment I can't see it.

At the moment I am feeling angry, I don't know why. I have woken up with a headache again (third day) sort of a migraine but not a migraine yet. My blood pressure is still high.

Have to go to work today to do end of month reports and statements. Because no one else knows how to do them and that shits me too.

I have another appt to see my GP tonight, he wants to see how my BP is going.

I am just so angry today.

Maybe i am angry at myself for not doing more to help myself. For not improving; for not doing things that my therapist says; maybe it's me that i am angry at.

And like my psych said to me yesterday "the meds won't fix you, they will help with your depression, but you need to do the work". Maybe I am angry at him too.

Anger = destruction

Pain = tears and more tears

Hurt = betrayal

Hi @BlueBay

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down this morning 🌷💕

Can you go in to work for a half day ?

Will that get the end of month reports and statements done ?

Can you show someone else how to do it today as you sort it out ?

What would they do if you were in hospital at this time ?

Sorry for all the questions ...... it just sounds like this is a gap that needs to be filled so you are not caught in this position again.

💗🌸💕

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I was thinking that if I go in print the reports and statements and stay until lunch time then I can go after lunch. By then the shop will be quiet and one shop girl will be okay.

I think I need to get rid of this migraine that is coming on. I will go and take some more meds and hopefully they'll kick in.

Yes, I do need to show someone else; but not sure who?? Have to speak with the pharmacist and supervisor.

Yeah, exactlly - if I was in hospital I guess then the pharmacist would need to work out how to do it. That's the problem where I work - they give all these jobs to one person and then panic when that one person is sick or away on leave.

I need to get this blood pressure down and keep my emotions at bay. I need to not be angry at work - but sometimes I just can;t help it.

Take care @BlueBay ...

I wish you the best day you can have under these conditions ❣

I hope this is just a little after-shock headache that responds quickly to the meds so you don't have that to worry about too ...

💜🌷

I get it @BlueBay - I understand what is happening here

btw - if you are angry - you are angry - and it is anger turned inward that causes depression

Maybe some of that is coming out now - I have noticed you improving since you made the decision to go into hospital - it's a real pity that you have to wait

Here's what I see - you made your decision when you were just about at the end of your tether - but since then you have had one thing after another - as if the world and people can't leave you alone - and you have had one itchy and anoying and stressful thing after another and I really understand this

I can lose it in seconds if one thing happens after another

And I am not in any position at all to say "Whacko - I'm cured" I wouldn't dream of it - I expect I will have my bad days again - an again - until I have leave - which will be in due course - not any time soon

I get it about work - you are being exploited there - when you have been to hospital and you are returning to work I will have some suggestions for you to deal with this - but not yet

Decadian