having a bad morning

I don't know if art therapy is for me. When i walked in the room today the therapist placed a lot of photos around the table. then she had a number of cards around the table as well. What we had to do was look at all the photos and pick a photo of 'how we were feeling at the time'. then we could pick another one. I picked one of a dirt road that had cracks in it everywhere; the second photo i chose was two face masks. then i got to pick a card. that was of a haw and the meaning of this card was in a book. I started to read the meaning of the picture i had and it triggered lots of emotions. I started to cry while reading it.

We had to look at the pictures and then try to either draw, use clay, paint a picture of how we are feeling and use the photos that we chose. I sat there and negative talk started again. I told the therapist I can't do this; i am going, i can't do it. i don't know where to start. She asked me about the photos i chose and i said the dirt cracked road is my life and my head; the masks are the different faces i have to put on. She suggested that i paint a face (she handed me a cardboard one), i started to cry more and told her this is dumb, i am an adult and i can't even paint; and what will the other ladies say in the group. they will be looking at me crying. The therapist put her arm around me and said it's okay, you are judging yourself; it's okay i will help you.

So she helped me start to paint and off I went. i was very quiet but continued painting this face.

Then we had a break and I checked my emails - big mistake!!!

I received an email from mother in law's nursing home saying something is not right with the financial side of it - she is required to pay $300,000 bond. OMG, as soon as i saw this i burst into tears. i tried to ring our case manager but he was unavailable. i continued to sob and went bafk to the art therapist and told her i need to go. she suggested i sit somewhere and take some deep breaths to which i did.

we now have to go centrelink tomorrow to sort all this out. i have a huge throbbing headache, i don't know what to do. so hubby and i are now taking tomorrow off work to sort this out.

not a good day 😞

To add to my stressful and emotional day, we have tried to contact our son overseas and can't make contact. Tried to call, sent text messages, even gone on facebook - but nothing.

It is 8.30pm so it is about 12.30pm. I am trying to tell myself he is probably out but it is so hard because, well my mind is everywhere tonight. hope he either rings or texts soon.

I hope you get it sorted out tomorrow @BlueBay.

I will be waiting to hear how it went ......

Take care of yourself tonight.

You can't do anything until tomorrow, so think about what self-care things you can do to soothe yourself until you go to sleep.

💜

Hi @BlueBay

I just read your message - that is horrible - I cannot believe that a facility would want $300,00.00 for a bond - my parents were in a very high-class place and they both had a bond but it was no where near that together

The question is - does your MIL have assets that would cover that? The facility caring for your MIL has you over a barrel -

You need not worry about that right now - you have your own well-being at stake - and I find it really hard to understand your husband - how can you help him with all of this right now - and you were saving your days off work and have to go to Centrelink - arck - that is the pits - Centrelink I mean - how can they help

What a mess and horrible strain for you

About your son - I know the answer to this one - he's young and away from home - he is taking steps to be more independent - of course you will worry but he is a young man -

[sigh] - $300.000.00 - that's ridiculous - who has that kind of money - and even if they did -

They will probably want her to have a certain amount of money in her bank as well

Decadian

[Feeling really sorry about that]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope and @Decadian

I am home from work with a terrible migraine. My throbbing headache that i had yesterday just got worse. I had an appt with my doctor this morning and he checked my blood pressure 200/110 - very very high.

He said it is the stress that is causing my BP to go so high. He has given me today off work (which I was going to anyway).

I have just had an afternoon nap and still have this migraine. I am thinking to phone work and tell them that i am not going in tomorrow. i need another day to myself and to rest.

Re: my mother in law finances - OMG

My husband phoned the dept of centrelink that handle the fees for aged care. He started to tell them about how much his mum pays and that she has no assets and just a bank account. We were under the impression that she is entitled to a govt funded bed and does not have to pay the $300,000 bond. This lady told my husband that is correct, as mother in law has no assets she is fully funded and just pays $48.35 a day for accommodation.

We don't have to pay a bond (thank god for that). Then hubby doesn't understand what the lady is saying so he passes the phone to me (bloody hell) so i explain what happened with this letter we received.

This lady said we don't need to worry as she was gooing to fax the aged care a letter that they should have received back in April stating that MIL has no assets. She is goiong to send us a copy as well.

She explained that if we still have trouble then we are to contact the Advocacy Support Service and they will act on our behalf with the nursing home.

I was angry with hubby because he never understands what people say, he says the wrong things and then I end up having to sort it out. For once I just wish he could do it all; handle it himeself.

Our case manager who helped us find a place for MIL contacted me after I broke down on the phone with him yesterday. he wanted to know how i was and what happened today. i told him and he said I need to look after myself, my mental helath comes first and if i don't want to go to see MIL for a few weeks then don't go

we had a good chat and he is very supportive of me and thinks it's a good idea to have a break and change meds at hospital. he said once we sort this MIL issue and aged care it will be a huge stress relief for me.

I told him that yesterday while talking to him i had hit the panic button because all i could see in the email was the $300,000!!!!

So for now I am home, and i am not going in to work tomorrow. I don't care what hubby says about me taking tomorrow off work - it's my health, i have the migraine not him.

i just want to be home tomorrow on my own, some peace and quiet.

I just told hubby that i am taking tomorrow off work and his answer was - oh do you have sick leave?

i don't care anymore about if i have sick leave or not - if i am not feeling well i am taking the day off and that means mental health days off as well.

I told him 'i don't know if i have sick pay or not' Grrrrrr

I know what he is thinking - i will lose a day's pay - well i don't care anymore. i am not going to push myself anymore than i am at the moment because i am so fragile.

I bumped into an old friend at the shop before and she asked how my son is overseas, we talked a little and then i broke down. i told her how stressed i've been with everything and him overseas. I walked away and i thought OMG i am so fragile at the moment.

What is wrong with men????

Hubby went to the shop to buy meat for tea. I just got a phone call from him 'what meat do you want me to buy'. I had already told him to get mince. I then say to him well if you want to go to Aldi to buy vegies you can, it's just down the road.

It was like I had asked him to drive 5 hours away!!!! 5 minutes down the road that is all. So he cracks it and says 'oh my god so now i have to do shopping' i'm going, bye and hangs up!!!!!

WTF - does he not get it that i have a migraine??? No because he f.... doesn't understand migraines because he has never had one. he probably thinks it's just a headache, well i know it's not a headache.

It just annoys me when they don't understand. I am so glad i am having tomorrow off work and I just phoned them to say i am not coming in. And my 'friend' at work says to me 'oh well i will just have to come in earlier, the other girl can't come in' oh will work out something. But the way she said it was like I am causing a problem for taking a day off. So then i feel guilty.

I don't care anymore about anything, it's my body, my health, my mind that needs time to stop and rest. I do not care what others think (well trouble is i still do)

Ah gee @BlueBay

You really have to put yourself first with your BP that high - that is critical - and that's what's causing the migraine

And all this stress is not going to help - it is causing things to be worse for you -

I did not think of the Age Care Package - I actually have one but I have never used it - I guess the balance will mean handing over her pension - it makes me wonder what she will have left to live on.

But that's not your problem

I don't get your husband - you are the one stressed to the back teeth with all of this - I guess like a lot of men he is helpless - maybe it's all to much for him too - this is not a good situation - and hey - getting meat and vegies for dinner is no chore - cooking it is - but you lie down with that headache - your BP is a serious issue

I am glad you are taking tomorrow off work too - and don't feel guilty - there are people around who will fill in for emergencies - if your pharmacy is part of a chain - don't you worry about that.

I forget what you said about your son - but he is young - he is having a good time - he is in a different time zone. I know you will worry about that one - but that's enough stuff to worry about

Ah life - I would not visit my mother because she snarled at people - "getoutahere" so I have her what she wanted and didn't go

Take it easy - with that migraine you are probably not interest in dinner anyway

[hugs]

Decadian