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Dealing with denial

Dealing with denial

My 24 yr old son was hospitalised in the Mental Health Unit for 3 weeks after I had him committed by the court. He was psychotic and paranoid. He was living away from home and had been taking meth-amphetamines and I knew I had to do something as no-one else was helping him. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but am not regretting it at all. He has been diagnosed with temporary schizophrenia (well we hope it will be temporary).

He has been home with us for over a month and is on depot medication once a month and that is working well. He is calm and pleasant with some side effects of sedation and the psychosis and paranoia seem to have gone.

My problem is that both my son and husband do not comprehend that my son is unwell. This means that my son has taken up regular cannibis use again, and my husband is angry with him for not getting a job and being independent. The same old patterns of their relationship are rearing their ugly heads and I feel that I'm stuck in the middle trying to mediate between them.

So much so that I reached the point of saying to my husband that if he can't accept his son is undergoing treatment and needs a calm and positive environment, then I'd have to go and find somewhere I can provide that for him.

I have given my husband information about schizophrenia - whether or not he has read it I can't be sure.

My son, believing that he is fine and just wants to get off the meds, refuses to even consider attending any form of counselling or psychology support to help him learn coping skills. He has suffered depression in the past, hasn't had a job for at least 3 years and those that he did have lasted only for a matter of weeks. He has a case worker under his ITO (involuntary treatment order) but they are mainly concerned about the medication and the psychosis - which has abated. Right now he is in a good place, but his marijuana use means that he is doubly sedated - his meds and the dope!

I understand why my husband is so angry - that we are trying to help our son yet he won't help himself by staying clean. My son thinks that we are out of touch with reality and that everyone smokes weed. I just don't know whether I am kidding myself that my son can be helped, or that once a drug addict always a drug addict. But as a mother I feel this is the best chance we may get to help put him on the right track.

I started seeing a psychologist but frankly I don't feel that I am getting many answers. I know there is no particular answer, but I would like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience and found a way to break through the denial at any level.

My greatest fear is that my husband will want to throw him out - again - and that will eventuate in my son return to worse drugs.

66 replies

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In response to: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Hi yes sure...it is http://www.leapinstitute.org/

I have ordered Dr Amadors book detailing his LEAP technique... will write a review post if it is worth buying!

In response to: Re: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

I have now watched the youtube videos and found it very interesting and fascinating in that it contradicts other things that I'd read - ie to not discuss the delusions etc. I will certainly read more about Amadovar's techniques and look at the Leap website. Through trial and error I had already realised there was not point trying to get my son to admit to an illness... it's more important now for him to believe he is well. More good news, is that the doctor has reduced his meds.

In response to: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Hi Camelia, have you got a voices group in your area? Some are listed on voices Vic Facebook page, in other States they might be listed through Hearing Voices Network.
Also, great books available on recovery and voices, check out Ron Coleman, Rufus May, Marius I can't remember his surname.. Lots of great research around working with voices and voice dialoging.

In response to: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Also Open Dialogue model in Scandinavia, vfinland or Lapland. 25 years has reduced average length of psychosis to 3 weeks. And there is no longer any diagnosis of schizophrenia there..at all.

In response to: Re: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Hi Camelia, I think there are a lot of families like ours that are caring for children tha have taken drugs and are now dealing with mental illness. It sounds good that his doctors are reducing your son's medication.

We have found this to be a whole family journey involving understanding schitzophrenia, open non-judgemental dialogue, appreciation of the ideas around harm minimization, but being very clear with our son that continued drug use is very dangerous to him, especially now that he has already had psychosis.

In a lot of ways our role has been to continue to be a family and do normal things together with our son, continuing to celebrate and nurture normal life events like sharing a meal, joke, memories. We also make sure that we still go places together like to the movies and encourage his hobbies.

Early on we made sure his health professionals knew when he was taking drugs or we were concerned about his mental health. We told our son when we contacted them and assured him that they were duty bound not to breach his confidentiality, but that we could tell them what we suspected or observed. I think this is an important safeguard because people are often good at hiding things in a short consultation, but it is sometimes harder for them to hide things from the people they live with. This was uncomfortable for our son but he accepted it because deep down I think he knew we were acting in his best interests. Open and honest dialogue is so important.

Our contact with our son's health professionals has largely now stopped now that he is off drugs and better able to cope and manged his own health. Regaining control of his own decisions and health management is important to his self esteem.

I am not sure reading your post if you had other children. It is frightening to be young and watch your brother or sister that you grew up with suddenly become mentally unwell. I am not sure that we handled this issue well. If I had my time again I would have sought professional help on this matter at the beginning of our journey.

In our son's journey with mental illness he has been able to do one day a week at TAFE. This has been good because it gives him an interest and a way of answering the inevitable question of what do you do? In social settings he can say he is studying and only disclose his mental health issues if he feels comfortable. It puts him more in control of his situation.

I hope these small ideas might be of use. Regards Adlin

In response to: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Good on you Adlin, sounds as though you are loving your son back to health, with support and promoting his autonomy and independence...fantastic caring in challenging times!

In response to: Re: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Hi me too,
Is there any reviews of the book ?

In response to: Re: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

Thanks for your post Adlin.

In response to: Re: Dealing with denial

Re: Dealing with denial

I like reading and been to workshop of Peterbullimore. I use his techniques with my oldest son got good response
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