Dealing with denial

Dear Camelia, I enjoy reading your messages your a good mum.

My ex husband began regular depot injections when he first met me in 2011. . Before he remet me.......he spent times :
In jail
homeless,,
repeatedly kicked out of his units his long suffering parents provided for him.
Using illegal substances and smoking and drinking

He is and was the most beautiful man I have ever met. We went to high school in year 8. He was already showing signs of spending times in mental ill health then. I won't bore you with details.
We remet at the age of 42 years old.
We had always caught up throughout the years...our mothers go to the same church.
He just started having regular depot injections...firstly because of his age, he couldn't be this cunning rebel any more
;...6 months before he had come out of jail for harassing train conductors.
He had spent time living with his father but it was too much. ;his darling father was tossing never to see him again.....it would break his heart but he had to take care of himself. They had both divorced years before.

His mother was in shock when he brought me to his Mum's home for Sunday lunch. They were both over the moon delighted that we were an item. After one and half month of knowing him again, I was working almost full time....he had his maybe first dangerous turn out of maybe 3 previous ' turns' . He just could not give up the drink, it was almost like.....too much water under the bridge but he went to hospital for 2 weeks and came out very fresh and willing to work hard with relationship.
the next month......he allowed me to be at the community treatment order meeting, a group of Doctors, psychiatrists and a member of the community to see how he was travelling with having the compulsory depot injection
It was a terrible meeting that affected him very negatively. Me too.
When we arrived at hospital, he made me promise not to say anything at the meeting so I agreed. We drove into the hospital.. And he bought 3 bottles of wine which he stored front passenger seat, he said for after the appointment but he downed one bottle within 5 seconds. ;I remember being surprised, but kept quiet as this was something that I knew nothing about.
;Now, everyone knows...............,,,,,, not to cause any stress to someone who suffers times of mental ill health,

it didn't seem that anyone in the meeting knew of not causing stress to people who suffer times of mental ill health. psychiatrists were sitting there in a row, It felt to me, a witches attack on one poor dishevelled thin very good looking man who has an iq of 160 but could not justify or answer back to their accusations of him being a threat to the community or their questions.

When he, talked about the care himself..... with diagnosed chronic paranoid schizophrenia....he was stuttering. Scared and repeating himself. He spoke in a loud voice. He sounded frightened but loud. We walked out, when we got in the car... Within 15 to 20 seconds, he downed the other bottles and cried for a few days. He didn't take responsibility for his condition. He is unable to manage his life. I was devastated and we to see many people after that. We decided to change hospitals which Definately changed for the better.
He stayed on the on the depot needles. the day before he was due a needle, he would be really grouchy and moody. for about three days after, he would basically sleep. Poor man. He did work very hard to stay with me. We both discussed what having a compulsory community order means and he was good with having a compulsory community order.

We changed hospitals when it became a lot better, got a wonderful psychiatrist and he is keeping up with his depot injections to this day but his drinking is very very bad for the injections to work properly. I used to be up on all this ...He couldn't have functioned without the depot needle but his main issues were that he cannot manage his own life or function well without a carer. He had issues with being in an intimate relationship and all that entails. He got himself a carer too that was wonderful. But poor man had a huge problem with drink.. And injecting illegal substances which he quit when he was with me. We attended therapy for some time but he couldn't manage his life as he was drinking so much but the depot needle was not effective because of the life he was leading. He was working hard at quitting a life of using illegal substances.as well which...took him 9 months to quit completely but he quit when he was with me.

Thanks Justanother47,

As usual, you give some excellent insights, which are even stronger as they are based on experience.

Camelia - if you read justanother47's post, yes it's a story of a long hard road, but it's really a story of hope, of success.

I think it's essentially a story of love.

Hobbit.

I do appreciate Justanother 47yrold committment to a man she loves and who cannot manage his own life. I hope that my love and effort for my son yield positive results, but I am also prepared for a lifetime, if need be, to care for him.

That's excellent news Camelia!! I really hope things continue on this bright positive note.

I'm so happy that you have found some people here to share your experiences and story with.

Please keep in touch.

Hobbit.

Hi @Sarah-Jane

Welcome to the forums!

If you want, you could post the link to the LEAP institute?

Might make it easier for people to find.

NikNik