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Let’s talk about SI

Unknown userMember03 May 2018, 9:58 pm AEST

Let’s talk about SI

Hello,

Currently the discussion about suicide prevention is often in the media. I think it is something worth talking about here too.

I started struggling with SI and SH since my early teens after an abusive childhood. I won’t go into details re my SI. I continue to struggle to this day, often every day. I sometimes wonder if the thoughts will ever go away or if it’s more managing them for the rest of my life. I actually think I’ve posted about this before... seems a revolving door for me.

Anyway, I have a prevention plan with warning signs, coping strategies, quotes, safe places, phone numbers and a reason to go on - I think I have to work on that one at some point. It’s literally a lifeline for me. Even when I was in hospital crying in my bed, sobbing, i looked at my prevention plan and repeatedly told myself ‘this is a safe place, I put it on this piece of paper when I was well’. It’s weird and sad that the same brain can function so differently at times. Sometimes I beat myself up, that I can’t even do that. Sometimes I think no one cares as I’ve had these thoughts for too long and they’re not valid. I wonder if they are actually not valid. Perhaps it’s just a game my mind plays with me. It makes me tired.

If you identify with the subject, how do you manage?

49 replies

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In response to: Let’s talk about SI

AppleblossomSenior Contributor08 May 2018, 6:46 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Thanks for being clear. @Former-Member I am sorry its tough atm.

You dont need to talk about stuff if you dont want.

I am slowly working out how to stem my tide of distress and how to keep more calm.

Sleepwise the household is topsy turvy but as I just had an overnighter on a train I am relaxing with it.

I have been mainly on the computer and odd house tasks. Preparing Ravioli for dinner with bacon and parmesan to use up the vegie sauce left by my sons gf.

Brief shop and chat with cashier.

In response to: Let’s talk about SI

Ant7Senior Contributor08 May 2018, 8:02 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

@Former-Member my day was ok thanks for asking. I spent most of the day in bed cause of night shift.
I am so glad you are safe and I am glad you have some support❤️
Know that I am here for you if you need it

@Appleblossom hi I hope things are going well for you too ❤️

In response to: Re: Let’s talk about SI

AppleblossomSenior Contributor08 May 2018, 8:07 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Sad to say it, but I have spent a lot of time in that mode of ... harm minimisation. It is very difficult but a sound approach that does eventually produce benefits. It also shows how many shades and colours there are in small decisions and big decisions.

Take care both of you @Former-Member @Ant7

In response to: Let’s talk about SI

Ant7Senior Contributor08 May 2018, 8:15 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

@Appleblossom Thanks ❤️❤️❤️

In response to: Let’s talk about SI

SnowieSenior Contributor08 May 2018, 8:41 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

@Former-Member, I am glad you are safe and have professional help.

Our mind is sometimes our worst enemy, so hard to silence

In response to: Re: Let’s talk about SI

Shaz51Senior Contributor09 May 2018, 3:39 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

hugs @Former-Member

In response to: Let’s talk about SI

OwlunarSenior Contributor10 May 2018, 12:17 am AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Hi @Former-Member

I never knew about SI when my son was alive - and I don't beat myself up about it much anymore - I can't change the past but now and again I do still have regrets - and it's okay - it's normal

It's amazing how I knew he was suicidal and I could not get anyone to listen - in fact I was in hospital and in the evening I was crying - and a nurse asked me what I was crying about and I told her I was afraid my son would die and she told me to stop being stupid - he wasn't going to die -

He was gone a few weeks later - even then I had not recognised his SI because I knew he was into SA which I understood and SH which I didn't - and he wouldn't talk about it and when he was 16 I couldn't talk to his psychiatrist and it would have been such a good idea if I could have - I didn't need to know what HE said - I had my own piece to add to the story

But like I said - there are times and right now isn't one of them - I do feel as if I pick the sore a bit - but each year is different and as time passes it does get easier - but I think I will reach the end of my time still thinking about him every day - why would I not? - I think about my living child every day too

But thanks for your thoughts

Dec

In response to: Re: Let’s talk about SI

SnowieSenior Contributor10 May 2018, 10:02 am AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Hi @Former-Member, just coming past here to see how you are going

In response to: Let’s talk about SI

Unknown userMember10 May 2018, 1:12 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Hello @Owlunar

Of course you are thinking of your children and I hope you have some lovely memories with your son as well!!

@Snowie @Appleblossom @Ant7 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Maggie @Pepsimax @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope

I think I will leave the forum for a while. I am a bit upset and will take my time.

You all look after yourselves please and take care x

In response to: Re: Let’s talk about SI

SnowieSenior Contributor10 May 2018, 1:16 pm AEST

Re: Let’s talk about SI

Hi @Former-Member

You need to do what is best for you, however please remember we will be here for you when needed.

Please take care of yourself, because you are worth it.

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