evolving as we go

@Former-Member very much looking forwrad to knowing you better too. i think you're right, with support and leaning on each other a alittle bit, we'll all get through and out the other side. we can do this! ❤️

@CheerBear thank you, you're very kind! it does help to know there is here. traumaversaries is a word we ran into on facebook and liked. it sums it up so wel- both what caused it and what it's like to live through the annual remembering! i'm just grateful that when we called the acute care team the man we got was very nice. we don't have a good history with calling acute care.
i'm so sory you had your own traumaversaries to deal with at the end of last year. they really are tough. i'm glad you're out the other side of them now!

@Phoenix_Rising thanks for replying. we're glad you're here.

thank you @CheerBear. i'm glad he was nice too. some of them can be really quite unintentionally cruel. i've had ones tell me to go ahead and sh, that i clearly didn't care about doing better, and other unhelpful things, so to have this guy at least try was a sweet change from what i expected.

i wish we could see our proper t tomorrow, but she's still away. our replacement t is lovely but he's very inexperienced in dealing with our stuff -- he's got no trauma training or background at *all* and gets overwhelmed by us.

thanks @CheerBear ❤️

Yes, stand in is lovely, and we chose him despite his lack of experience and knowledge.

Creating is definitely something we do to get through. Other stuff includes reading when we can concentrate, watching some tv shows when we can concentrate and spending time with our dog. She's my whole world, that little furbeastie. I wish I could share pictures of her, but she's too identifiable!

we got through last night without resorting to major sh, so that's a plus for us. today has been calmer a bit. we spent some time at the mental health outpatient clinic which meant we got previous wounds seen to and had a small chat to our stand-in t, then we came home and did some housework. i've been watching tv since then - some atypical and an episode of outlander. have to be careful watching that as it can be quite triggery we found!!

I want to read this more closely later but get notifications because I am having a lot of traumaversaries atm and I want to join in @OhanaSystem

My son went into Juvenile Detention 32 years ago around this date - it was Easter at the same time that year and we also had our 20th wedding anniversary and it was shear chaos and I have a lot of stress right now without the traumaversaries

I want to find my way back here later when I have more time - thanks for opening this thread @OhanaSystem

Dec

hi @Owlunar, it's nice to meet you and welcome. i'm so sorry to hear you too have traumaversaries and that they're around this time of year. seems its a difficult one for a lot of people.

today has been a pretty good day. we went to a thing called wild wednesday at the sports club but left early because it was too overhwelming and people were noticing that we weren't doing so wonderful. after that we went to the hospital for our (atm) daily visit. then of course we had trivia night at the pub, and that's our favourite part of the week.

we're a bit mixed up just now though because d doesn't do touch, and the trivia host came in for a hug/cheek kiss in saying goodbye and it was confusing and hard for her. hopefully she'll be able to talk that through with stand-in t tomorrow.

Hi @OhanaSystem

I am glad Wednesday was pretty good and Wild Wednesday at the sports club was something you went too even though you had to leave early - at least you went

From what I gather your aim here is to work on the process of evolution from where we are today - to wherever we are going - and hopefully improving the process - and yes - we do have traumaversaries

So the evolutiond of my "traumaversary" the major one - actually takes place over some months - but it's toughest at Easter and then in the middle of winter - what used to be was the trauma hit hard every year now - well - it has been getting better each year and the ongoing process is interesting to look back on. Why?

Through the years the major Rites of Passage relived has taught me many things - maybe each year I revisit the cirumstances as one might visit a loved-one's resting place for example - and an examined life is one that has hurt a lot and change - growth and change hurt but as the years pass it has meant I have become a better person, a stronger person, more empathetic, more understanding.

I see more. I don't seek happiness - when I have a great moment I appreciate it - I have learned to appreciate the light and the shadows - to ask questions and to listen to the answers - to know when it's time to feel the past hurt and time to allow time to pass with activity

I think we all have strength we don't know about and it takes a huge event with a long place on our lives to recognise this strength - to value our lives and the lives of others - to learn when a person is a vexatios spirit and to leave them for someone else or when to allow ourselves to become involved with an unahppy person

A live well lived is only something we can see for ourselves as the years pass - as they do - and know we can only live in one moment at a time. To know there are something things we cannot change - people who will not change - and we have control over only one person - ourselves

All the best with the exercise in the process of evolution - I am interested and invested now to know how things work out

Dec