Living with Ourselves

I agree @Adge

Humour is the best medicine. How are you Adge?

Hello @Former-Member, hugs and hugs 💞

Hi @Anastasia Thanks for your thoughts.

I've Lost my "Funnybone" (Humour).

Don't worry, I will find my Humour/ Funnybone - I have a Dry somewhat Whacky sense of Humour, when I get going....

Adge

It's just under the surface @Adge I can see it 😃😂

Sometimes life can get in the way of our sense of humour but not forever 💕

Yep @Anastasia Excellent.

Too many Fans....

Hold that thought - I'm gona get me some Fans (too many of course)...

Adge

😜😂👍✔️ @Adge love it

Hello @Sophia1 💕💐💕

Hello @Anastasia

I am not feeling the best yet again.

Happy mother's day has turned out to not be very happy

I hope that your day brings you some joy.

Sorry I am feeling very depleted.

A hug for you and thank you for tagging me

Sophia 💜

@Sophia1 I am sorry to hear that 😔

May tomorow be kind and gentle to you 🙏💐💞

Thank you

The blooms are beautiful.

Nature is so calming for me and often draws me when I am at my lowest, as this is when I isolate.

Going out for necessary appointments or arrangements.

Takes ups so much more energy than others realise.

Head fog, makes it almost impossible to answer, constantly forgetting words mid-sentence.

Forgetting the names of people whom I have known for ages.

Getting lost constantly. What a nightmare and frightening seriously if you have not experienced it.

I feel as though I am constantly grieving for loss of so many different people, circumstances, life situations, even me.

I am grieving for the loss of one of my family member who lives in a different space. I am worrying that son has covid as has flu and waiting to hear covid test results. His idea to take us out for dinner on mothers day did not come to fruition not making him feel any better.

Two days before had phone call from estranged sister advising mum in nursing home now diagnosed with rare blood disorder. Refusing kidney specialist appointment and now haematologist. They can come and see her if they want to was her response.

So asked sister in later call if cancer and answer yes.

Hard to hear even though mum is in mid nineties.

Even harder as their controlling ways had paved the way to exclude me from their lives. I am unable to speak to her on phone as she struggles hearing. She sleeps most of the time, eats little. does not leave her room.

I asked sister if she would like to forget past and move forward (repairer once again) she said yes so in my new assertive speak up to sister voice repeated question and she said that she did.

A relief even though will never be a strong relationship.

We have always been bonded though being twins.

I have my name listed separately at nursing home to be advised of her final hours approaching.

I have not seen her for two years.

My sister rang on mothers day when she was with her and put the phone on speaker. I said hello mum, she said oh how lovely to hear your voice. I broke down and said I am feeling very emotional. I talked through the tears carefully asking how she was feeling, if she was in pain. told her that i loved her. then silence as i have no idea if i will ever be able to talk to her again.

So mothers day was not mothers day for me.

I think that they should cancel mothers, fathers day.

We all make our own choices about when we want to let our mums and dads know how much we love them without all of the marketing and commercialism.

Do not mean to offend.

Not many read over here anyway.

My symptoms of depression are big time.

I might see family member tomorrow. I am actually wanting to see him but frightened of him as he is not how he used to be. He is street hard now. He did let me hug him when I left earlier this week though. That was worth more than any mothers day present even though it wasn't mothers day.

The veil of heaviness weighs down and takes hold.

I must try the ritual now of attempting to sleep.

I hate writing sad stuff on here as I do not like to think that I am further upsetting so many beautiful people who have their own pain.

This is me. Very good at being there for others.

Listen intently.

Support without jugdement.

Sometimes no words, just being there with the person.

I pick up so many vibes from people who have inner pain.

I have not known myself for so long that wearing a smiling, welcoming face comes naturally.

Then I am back at home where I am reminded of myself.

I can feel my vibes within my home.

I did tag some people and then thought better not as very deep and dark.

Stay safe