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Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor23 Mar 2018, 1:29 pm AEDT

Living with Ourselves

hello @eudemonism @eth @outlander @Bunniekins @Mazarita @Silenus @NameUnknown @Grasshopper3 @patientpatient @soul @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Friendconnect @Teej @utopia @Queenie @Appleblossom @Zam @perseverer @Janna @Owlunar @Former-Member @Former-Member

First of all I wanted to let you know that I have conversed with all of you at some stage on both sides of the forum..

It was my intention to close two of my threads and change my name in the kindest way for all of you...

I commenced this process on the 12th March and today is the first day that I have access to actually post or respond to anyone....I was in the last couple of days able to register a new name and like some posts...

I am so sorry that my profile ended so abruptly that was definitely not my intention....

In fact if I had done it my way.. instead of thinking would be better to be guided through the process....I would have just written on one of my threads my reason for closing my account tagging you all in....then requested account to be closed and username put to bed so to speak

I have chosen to take this path in order to protect my family's sense of safety .. privacy...health..

Please let me reassure you that this has nothing to do with any members on here...

I have tagged each and everyone of you because you have given me support and invited me into a little of your worlds...priceless experiences...I have felt heard and valued on here....Thank you all so much..

Moving forward ...this is who I am now and hope to be able to converse on the forum living in the now not the past...therefore no mention of my previous username necessary...

If you do not know who I am...that is fine also...perhaps all of the above is not relevant for you..

take care

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In response to: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor07 May 2018, 4:31 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Bunniekins

my thoughts..words are not as a result of any comment from anyone on here..

I am not sure where or what I have said for you to feel that...

quite the opposite..

Each and everyone of you including those with no words...still the kind and thoughtful gesture of letting me know that they have thought of me (despite the like button debate that I contributed to)

you make my day every time I see your changing avatar with the green pea almost rubbed into your face...

you bring me joy Greenpea...so no apologies ever needed...

sorry to hear of your spaghetti experience....mine is boring fog ..changing in density...🐸:money_mouth_face:💚✳️

Add to the cocktail tears at the drop of a hat..

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor07 May 2018, 4:45 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

I did not mention that I had a bad night...pain in the pelvic area...related to earlier prolapse...

today distended abdomen and further discomfort in abdomen and pelvis..discussed at psyche appointment as further affected when going for small frequent walks..standing etc..vital for recovery from surgery..he advised me to make dr apptment today..

rang only able tos see young male who is now my new go...I had unpleasant medical experience when young..so husband and nurse present..also took prn...outcome unsure nothing evident so now ultrasound to rule out big "c" .....Then dr can ascertain if booked in with relative gynaecologist..

I know that I have to be positive...live in the now.. Be thankful...

am releasing garb to avoid further intensifying depersonalising or sisocciating....my mind has been doing this as an automatic act of preservation..

I do not look for sympathy...I need to express

.................

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

BunniekinsSenior Contributor07 May 2018, 4:52 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 I can barely compose anything worthwhile anymore. I cannot wait to see my pdoc as said before. It is ridiculous. I was a student got a degree ffs and now I can barely write a few lines on a forum. On a bright note I have spent today eating absolute rubbish and it was delicious! 😄

In response to: Living with Ourselves

outlanderSenior Contributor07 May 2018, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

sitting with you @Sophia1

In response to: Living with Ourselves

Unknown userMember07 May 2018, 9:14 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Express all you need to @Sophia1, dont know what to say, just hugz ❤❤❤

lighting a candle for you ❤

In response to: Living with Ourselves

eudemonismSenior Contributor08 May 2018, 7:28 am AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hi @Sophia1 and anyone else who cares to read... Life has been going on as usual. I've done a cleaning spree. Swept, vacuumed, mopped, washed Windows, cleaned bathroom and toilet, chopped back the shrub out the front and the hedge... I've got dietician appointment today. And I'm hoping I can get some good customized tips too do with diet and nutrition. Which will help me do better. Sleep better. Have more energy. I'm still having to forgive the mhs everyday as I believe the depot injection was not necessary or the best option. And I've now been living with the side effects for years. I've started taking oral medicine as well and it seems to be helping with the anxiety. I've realized that my condition was just anxiety and depression which went untreated and worsened due to lack of compliance to medication. Which was caused bye denial and outside influences. Had no credit for two weeks. And hesitated to come back for a few days when did have credit.

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor08 May 2018, 10:37 am AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

thank you each and everyone for caring...

many of you have your own storms that keep on coming...

I hope to find you again and support you back in return...

I have been thinking that perhaps some of my lengthy essays have been too much for people..

knowing only too well that when we get to the point that we don't have anything left to draw on...we cannot possibly read the writings of another no matter how well intended...

I write from the heart and the words come tumbling out of my mind as I type....

perhaps people will see the length and pass on by if they need...

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor08 May 2018, 10:46 am AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

dear @eudemonism

am so proud of what you have achieved for yourself....

you really have taken control of how you want your home environment to feel for you...

a dietitian ...well done...makes my heart skip a beat...vital for your ongoing health...

oral medication hopefully eventually replacing the depot injection...

above all....congratulate yourself...lifting yourself out of a dark recurring mood is so extremely difficult....

all of this is about you taking charge of your own health...self belief...getting past the patterned negative talk...

I have been thinking of you often Eude...worrying that you were stuck...

hesitating to come back happens to all of us I imagine....then we realise that we want to chat to our friends and check on them....we are valued...we again want to be a part of this community here.,...

you have made my day

In response to: Living with Ourselves

outlanderSenior Contributor08 May 2018, 10:54 am AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Morning @Sophia1 i dont think your posts are too long. You should be able to express yourself and get whats on your mind out and if it takes a long post then so be it.
Sometimes i dont know what to say when the cogs in my head arent working properly but i do read your posts. Im interested in hearing whats on your mind and how your feeling and they make sense i just get short on words ( or others beat me to it lol) but want to be here to support you.

How are you today? Hows your pain? Plans? And also have you found your tranquil place today?
💛💙💚💜❤

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor08 May 2018, 11:13 am AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

bless you @outlander

am feeling dreadfully alone....abandoned....which is absolute codswollup....

this is all horrible stuff coming up from past...

I wish the dratted tears would stop...was going to say waterworks...definitely do not want any further complications there...

this afternoon I have another medical appointment...yeah...with a physiotherapist who specialises in women's health...will be given some exercises on top of those that I already do...

tomorrow is ultrasound...

so as you know the medical trail takes up much of our valuable time..

have more blood tests to be followed up as well...check that I dont have same as twin and everything doing what it should be doing...

thank you for reminding me of tranquil place...shall go off searching now...

might run into you at the mystery tranquil place... xxx

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