Living with Ourselves

@eudemonism KPI - Key Peformance Indicator

Business talk

In a site consultation meeting with a MH organisation. I challenged them to look at suicide statistics for each organisation. I had spent a bit of time going to coroners court for family history. I suggested they really look at the general evidence. Pleez dont take that out of context. We dont want things to get that bad. We dont want people to die or live miserable lives.

Yea... mental health issues... a world wide problem of great proportion...
@Appleblossom

During my times/stages of life where i wore a masque and pretended to be strong, pretended everything was fine, was being dishonest and living in denial-were my peak periods of suicidal ideation...

Thats tough @eudemonism

Thats what life often demands of us and it turns us inside out.

I have tried all sorts of ways of being "more authentic as well as socially appropriate"

those buzz words of political correctness.

Its a tough gig, still havin a go.

Yea @Appleblossom society is rather screwed in the head if you ask me. There's no other way to put it....

Everybody just trying to be the best they can be. In the eyes of other people. Kinda got no choice but to go along with it.

I was also pretty angry at all the stuff that happened to me and wanted to jolt people out of their comfort, but that never works. They just scream louder about their problems.

What are you up to today @eudemonism ?

@Appleblossomi don't think there's really a positive way i can look at this or positive results which will come from my situation... which won't provoke more problems arising...

Actually that might not always be a bad idea @eudemonism lol anti-social time.

Dont personalise the identity, get the anti ... out ... and some other time you may discover you accidentally enjoy some social time.

I can be "pro social" generally but I've stopped worrying about "special or best friends" as a marker for popularity or being a worthwhile person. I have looked at plenty of other people's relationships and they arent all they are cracked up to be, even if people brag and carry on publicly about being besties ... eye rol ... (It is the teacher in me to be pro-social, I was asked to teach kids in the orphanages from very young, and then in the church etc etc.)

In one group on grief a lady talked about being all twitter and bisted ... and made everyone laugh ... and that was way before twitter online started.

That said I had a lovely afternoon at choir where I have gradually gotten to know people over last 5 years.

I try and be on my best behaviour but sometimes my pain jumps out and is visible, though I try and contain it and not blame people who are being decent to me.

It can take a long time to get more social after grieving for sudden or violent deaths. Then I had to bloomin grieve for the 20 years it took!

If ya dont connect then its not right to fake it all the time ... that saying about faking it til you make it ... has some blowies on it.

@Appleblossomi think i understand... I'm all about connecting with people and good relationships... but the thing is-truth be known... every relatiobship has issues... every person has problems... and I'm afraid of these things.. because I'm either being the issues and the problems for someone or receiving the issues and problems from someone... No matter who it is-It's always the same scenario........

Hence isolation and addiction and mhi set it.... and I'm suffering for it......

People being the issues and problems seeem to escape the diagnosis and treatment regime... but yea alot it is perceived in my mind when I'm alone but is also based around all my interactions with people... i grit and bare it because i have to-i play the game.. but it does get to me... all they've done is say 'you're mi '