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Self Compassion

grubbytoesSenior Contributor01 Dec 2015, 3:33 am AEDT

Self Compassion

So a little while back @Pulch wrote a post that led me to book by Brene Brown (gifts of imperfection), which then led me to the idea of self-compassion and this great website, by a researcher called Kristen Neff, which I would love to share with everyone.

http://self-compassion.org/

So according to the researcher, self compassion is when "we give ourselves the kindness and care we'd give to a good friend". It is a skill that can be learned and improved on and it is made up of three areas: self kindness; mindfulness; and common humanity (recognising that suffering is a shared human experience)

Her work also challenges some of the social ideas we take on that our unhelpful to our wellbeing e.g. "I need to be critical of myself to achieve and improve"

I've been looking around the site it seems like it has some helpful videos explaining what self compassion is, and the difference between self compassion vs self esteem. There are also some guided meditations and exercises that I am looking forwarding to trying out.

AND there is a little quiz where we get to test our skills in each of the three areas. Aparently, while I am doing pretty well at the self kindness thing, I still have, shall we say, lots of room for improvement when it comes to the mindfulness and common humanity stuff.

I am going to try to learn some more about this self compassion stuff and see how it helps me with my general wellbeing as well as with managing my symptoms

So ... thoughts?

34 replies

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In response to: Self Compassion

MoonGalSenior Contributor31 Aug 2017, 11:57 am AEST

Re: Self Compassion

@Former-Member I LOVE Molly Hahn's Buddha Doodles, they have pulled me back from the brink many times. ❤️

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

Vanessa5Senior Contributor31 Aug 2017, 4:48 pm AEST

Re: Self Compassion

Hi @MoonGal@grubbytoes@Former-Member@Ginny@Rusalkin and everyone else!

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

Vanessa5Senior Contributor01 Sept 2017, 5:57 pm AEST

Re: Self Compassion

Hi @MoonGal@grubbytoes@Former-Member@Ginny@Rusalkin

I was given a hand out at a Mental Illness talk I attended today at the Albury Base Hospital.

It is important to stand up to stigma and remember the following:

"Stigma stops people from putting their hand up to say they are living meaningful, purposeful lives. This is to the detriment of those newly diagnosed seeking hope for recovery, and society at large."

"Media portrayal of mental illness also plays a major role in determining public attitudes towards mental illness. To influence public attitudes it is important to improve the way the issue is reported and represented in the media."

"The Australian Government's Mindframe initiative takes a comprehensive approach to this challenge. The Sane Media Centre and StigmaWatch programs are integral to the initiative ....much of SANE's work in this area is conducted behind the scenes, ensuring that stigmatising attitudes do not appear in the media in the first place".

"Reducing stigma isn't easy but it is 'the single most important barrier to overcome' according to the World Health Organisation. In fact Dr Norman Sartotius, the President of Association for the Advancement of Mental Health, has said: 'Experience from all over the world proves that it is not possible to build satisfactory mental health programs without serious and continuous effort to reduce or prevent stigmatisation of mental illness'."

Do not limit or lower your life expectations because you are told to do so. You deserve a quality of life that is at the level as anyone else regardless of your disability. Follow your dreams.

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

Unknown userMember01 Sept 2017, 6:26 pm AEST

Re: Self Compassion

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

Unknown userMember01 Sept 2017, 6:34 pm AEST

Re: Self Compassion

Yeah @Moongal, Molly's drawings say it all, simple and poignant 💜💕

@Vanessa5, that's very interesting - thank you for posting it, good to hear they're trying. You could also post it in the research section.

💜💕

In response to: Self Compassion

avalynnContributor26 Oct 2018, 2:36 am AEDT

Re: Self Compassion

Thank you sharing your post. I had to get some things out of my head because I feel so desperate to get it out. I've through a lot as many of us have. Since childhood I've suffered from depression. I've witnessed abuse as a child. I was in juvenile hall, group homes and a loving couple took me in. I then got heaviliy in drugs, alcohol, sex. I quit drinking 26 years ago and started on my journey of healing since then. I was in an abusive marriage. My ex divorced me after 30 years of marriage. I've had breast cancer been diagnosed with Bipolar 2. I've always been compassionate to others and caring. I was a good friend and you could count on me. Fast forward to today it is really hitting me hard that I need self compassion. I need to treat myself as I would a friend. Recently my new job in helping others with mental illlness I've been a scapegoat I feel with the HR manager because they are overwhelmed and stressed. I have asked questions and ask for what I need and I've been talked down to several times making me feel like a peice of nothing, like I don't matter. I'm 56 years old and I know now I deserve better. I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor. I'm trying to feel better about myself. I continue going to support groups, counseling trying to learn a way to peace and joy. I just had to post this outloud to remind myself that "I matter" and I am strong and I have fought and worked very hard. Now it's time to really focus on self compassion. If it wasn't for my precious dog Luke I feel like I would just check out. Life's been hard but I'm finding ways to fight back. Hoping to get some supportful and empowering feedback. I know there's a lot of us out there suffering trying to find our way. Love to you all. Lynn

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

Shaz51Senior Contributor26 Oct 2018, 5:00 pm AEDT

Re: Self Compassion

hello @avalynn, @grubbytoes, @Former-Member, @Vanessa5, @MoonGal

In response to: Self Compassion

eudemonismSenior Contributor26 Oct 2018, 10:23 pm AEDT

Re: Self Compassion

@grubbytoes there's a thousand + ways you can look at any mental illness or any problems that an individual is faced with. The human condition is not much different then the changes in the weather. Nobody can change if the sky decides to be blue and sunny one day or cloudy and raining the next. I think the natural psychopathic element of all humans, have taken it way to far! And made it way to complicated...

In response to: Self Compassion

ElinSenior Contributor28 Oct 2018, 10:45 pm AEDT

Re: Self Compassion

I have loved all the Brene Brown talks which I have viewed thus far and also Kristen Neff's on self-compassion you mentioned above. Thanks for sharing here, I hope others are able to view what you have listed above and be helped also.

In response to: Re: Self Compassion

frogSenior Contributor29 Oct 2018, 6:33 am AEDT

Re: Self Compassion

Hi @avalynn Just wanted to say I read your post. You've come a long way! There are people here who care and can support you. Take care

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