Self Compassion

@grubbytoes wonderful topic thankyou. It's been a focus for me over last 12 months.

@MoonGal Absolutely re staying away from any victim blaming ( I use the standard term as even the word victim now has so much shame around it) eg Law of Attraction, New Age " your fault" woo woo

Blaming is such a convenient way, imho for people to avoid the awareness that life is difficult & complex & that bad stuff happens to good people.

Tara Brach is right up there on my list of one who gives me good, scientific reasons for being kind to myself & her humility & intelligence, give me a very safe place to go, when I feel scattered. I actually listen to her before I go to sleep. It helps a lot.

@MoonGal

I'm having my own " day". Getting packed to head away over next week.

So my helps are

anything that Tara Brach or Rick Hanson do, say or think. There's lots on Utube & podcasts for Tara.

I have that on in the background. I practise grounding a lot. This morning's is a bit of L'Occitane perfume to help me come back to my senses.

The deal with myself for the day is;

do just one " grown up thing" ( clean parrots cages, vacuum, spend 10 mins sorting my suitcase)

then do one self care thing.( yoga, shower, connect to others, here for eg, eat, drink tea, practise flute)

keep alternating just one of each at a time

let each critical & anxious thought come, stop, come back to what I was doing & keep connecting to my bigger picture which is safe.

imagine feeling satisfied & proud of myself when I go to sleep tonight

focus on my intention to get away tomorrow peacefully. Try & shifts the anxiety into excitement ( they're on the same neural path apparently)

just writing this out helps me!!!! ✨

Stop & count the tiniest of things I've done well today ( I got out of bed when I wanted to just crawl back in is a start)

hope this helps a bit.

It's only a day, 24 hours & that all the " successful people" having perfect family Christmases, aren't what I need to focus on, but focus on just what I need to do to be kind ( especially in my mind) to me.

Hi @ moongal. I am impressed at your plan. I try to, when I am really in a black hole to follow those rules. I try to achieve something.

Christmas is different, I have realised that 2 weeks have sort of drifted past. It is weird really, I can feel the depression pulling. This time of year is difficult for me and the whole thing has been masked by steroids.

Thankyou for reminding me of myself. I wish you light and love this Christmas! Relaxing and happiness.

Great link @grubbytoes,

I like the following:

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?

It has links to mindfulness also. Thanks @grubbytoes

I use to think it was self indulgent, and didn't matter how we treated ourself, until recently when a therapist pointed out that we tend to treat other people the same way we treat ourself, especially those closest to us, our family 💕