My special place

@Snowie

I know this probably isn’t helpful but I do imagine your D & S would really want you to get the support you need, and so I really hope you’re able to find the courage to ask for them to help with your mum. I get that it would be hard though so please read that a gentle expression of wanting you to have support (whatever will be best for you) rather than me telling you what I think you should do 💛

I’m sorry your brother isn’t helpful. I can’t imagine how frustrating that would be.

Ah, I’d remember you have ECT as an outpatient. I wasn’t sure if you’d ever had it as an inpatient though.

Going out in the garden with your dog is lovely! I’m generally pretty good with my own company too, I think that’s why it took me so long to realise that that was the barrier at the moment. Normally it’s only a problem for me after about five or six days of not having anyone else around. I’m not sure what’s different at the moment, but it feels like it would be a bad idea to be in the house by myself for a day. Probably because I know without other people around I wouldn’t be able to summon the motivation to stay busy.

Do you have any puzzles or seeing projects you’re working on at the moment? Or any good books or movies that you’d recommend?

It does place me in a tricky situation @Wintersweet especially when you are pulled in different directions. I've already had a big cry over it this morning.

My brother has always been useless, even growing up. Never someone you could rely on. He normally reaches out when he wants something or wants money.

I've had ECT as an inpatient 4 times before. It has helped in the past. My pdoc calls this maintenance ECT. Hoping it keeps me out of having to be an inpatient again. Whilst it has been working for quite awhile now, I'm not sure it is now.

It's good that you know yourself well enough to know what would be good and bad for you.

I'm working on a jigsaw at the moment. About 1/3 of the way through.

I like reading autobiographies. I find it interesting reading about other peoples lives.

I like old movies that are still popular today. The last movie I watched was The Shawshank Redemption. An oldie but a classic.

@Snowie

It would be really hard, crying is a very natural response. I hope you’re able to go in and get some extra support/have a break from your mum. I remember you said she was nicer to other people so hopefully it won’t be as hard on your D and S. Sounds like a reset with some inpatient ECT would be really helpful. Would it help to talk to H first, even if you just say that you think inpatient ECT would be helpful (without sharing how bad things have already gotten if that feels like too much)? As always, that’s a genuine question so if the answer is no that’s ok, I just thought it might help as his encouragement that it’s ok to ask your D and S to visit your mum might help you feel more ok about it.

Do you prefer puzzles that are really tricky, puzzles that are easier, or something in between? For me it depends on my mood a lot!

I haven’t seen the Shawshank Redemption in ages. I should rewatch it sometime!

Hi @Wintersweet

I rarely cry. I think I've cried in front of my psych maybe twice in all the time I've been seeing her.

I talk to my pdoc again this week so will see what he says. I've already had two calls from mum this morning asking when I'm coming in next.

I'm probably a bit like you, it depends on my mood as to which puzzles I like. I normally go for harder one's but not too hard that I just get frustrated by them.

I hope you have a good day today

@Snowie

Sorry for not replying sooner. I gave myself a headache by not drinking much water, going for a walk, then having a cinnamon scroll. I think the dehydration, too warm, blood sugar spike combo was the issue.

Crying can be strange in that it’s sometime so hard to cry and other times almost impossible not to.

I hope your pdoc can help you think through what will be best. It would be so stressful to have your mum keep calling. Have your been able to talk about her much with your psych?

I think we’re very alligned on the optimal puzzle! I also want it to be a bit challenging but not to the point that it’s just frustrating.

Hi @Wintersweet

No need to be sorry hon. We need to look after ourselves first. I hope your headache is gone.

I have talked quite a bit about mum to my psych. I also speak to someone from Dementia Australia too. Between the two of them we do try to put things into place. I took her up the street this morning. She was very upset, not at anyone, just in herself and what she cannot do. She was trying to explain something to me but got really frustrated because she couldn't remember what words to say. After breaking it down, we worked out she wanted to buy herself some tweezers!!

Been putting together some lego this afternoon so that's helped clear my mind a bit.

I hope your day is being kind to you 💕

Thanks @Snowie 💛

I was able to get rid of the headache which was good!

Have your psych or the person from Dementia Australia had any ideas that feel helpful so you can get some inpatient support? I know it isn’t going to make it easy but I’m interested in what they’ve suggested and how you feel about it (knowing it’s probably a complex mix of feelings). As always, no stress if you’d rather not talk about it but the space is here if you do.

That would be a horribly frustrating experience for your mum, and I’m sure it would have made it hard for you too. I’m impressed you were able to help her break it down. Do you have a particular strategy you use in those situations?

Lego sounds lovely! I had a better start to the day but ended up procrastinating again. Gonna try and get one thing done before I leave work so that tomorrow I’m coming back to at least one thing I did do and not just what I didn’t do.

@Snowie

Sending you hugs and 💛

I’m guessing today was hard and I’m hoping you’re able to reach out for support as needed. 💛💛💛

@Snowie

Really hoping you’re safe or able to get the support you need to be safe (no pressure to reply I just want you to know I care).

Sending you hugs and 💛

Thinking about you @Snowie and sending you a lot of love.

💜🩵💜🩵💜