My special place

Hi dear @Wintersweet

D's dancing was really good. They got placed in all their items so she was happy.

The fact that mum can be in a 'good mood' when others are around really irritates me. It shows that she does know the difference and does know what she is saying.

Will be in bed early tonight. Have psych tomorrow arvo.

How are you going?

@Snowie

That was exactly what I was thinking when you said she was different when others were around. That would be super upsetting and I think it’s appropriate to feel not just irritated but angry even! Sending you all the 💛 and hoping that your psych appointment tomorrow is helpful.

I’m ok, will be interesting to see how work goes tomorrow and whether I’m able to focus/process information or not. Gonna try and avoid checking my phone while I’m there too so we’ll see how that goes.

So I saw my psych today. We spoke about mum and the issues I'm having. Talked about how it feels like I'm a child again getting a scolding. Came up with a few suggestions on what I can try. Guess I'll give it a go.

Told her whats been happening. What I've been doing. Told her what tomorrow is and how triggering it is for me. Just want to hide from the world. Erase tomorrow altogether from my head.

I’ll be here for you @Snowie xo

@Snowie

I’m sorry tomorrow is going to be hard. Hoping you’re able to reach out to LL SCBS or BlueKnot if extra support would help. However much or little you want to share on the Forums, I’ll be thinking of you.

Wanting to hide makes sense. Are there things that help you feel hidden/safe that you could do tomorrow as a way of looking after yourself? Even just for part of the day? (As always, no pressure to answer if it’s too overwhelming or not helpful.)

I’m really proud of you for being honest with your psych, and that you could talk with her about your mum. 💛

@Snowie and. @Eve7

Thinking of you both 💛

Thanks @Wintersweet @Eve7

Had to take mum to dentist this morning. Luckily it was quick.

Home now, on the couch, prn. It just a counting down the hours day.

Kids will be home for tea. Put on smiling face.

I hope both of your days are going ok

@Snowie

I’m sorry you had to take your mum to the dentist today I’m glad it was quick.

Also sorry for the delay in replying to you. You matter a lot to me, so I wanted to be thoughtful and then overthought it and it took way longer to type than it should have! 😅 Figured I should explain so you knew the delay between supporting your post and replying was because I cared, not because I didn’t!

Having to mask is a huge added load when we’re struggling, especially when we love the people we’re masking around.

The hours will keep counting down and today will be over 💛 (hoping that lands as caring and encouraging rather than minimising!)

Hi @Wintersweet

No need to be sorry hon. Sometimes I overthink on here too! It can be hard, with just writing we sometimes cannot get the right words out or have them understood in the way we want them too.

Also, putting you first is the most important thing. You also have work too which would take up a lot of your time.

Today is my birthday. I won't go into it but rarely celebrate it. Not so good memories.

I hope your day is going ok

@Snowie

I really appreciate you understanding about it sometimes being hard to find the words we want when we really care 💛

I also struggle with my birthday, though for different reasons. I’m sorry yours has not so good memories attached to it. It makes sense you’d find it really hard. 💛