My special place

Hi @Snowie my day has been ok. I’m trying hard, I really am.

How was your day? 💜

I've got no doubt that you are trying hard @Eve7 It can be really tiring however. I hope you are able to give yourself a break.

My day has been ok. Went to my favourite Asian grocery shop and stocked up on some food I cannot get in a normal supermarket. Home on the couch waiting for the footy to start.

@Eve7

Hope your evening is restful 💛

@Snowie

Hope you enjoy whatever you end up making with the groceries from the Asian shop and that you enjoy the footy 💛

My day was pretty uneventful which is good.

Is your d turning 21 @Snowie ? That has come around quickly? Our kids really grow up way too fast!!

I think I’ll go in at the end of next week if I can stick it out that long and that way uni is over until the next subject starts.

Yes she is turning 21 @Eve7 It has gone way too quickly.

We are going out for tea to her favourite restaurant. Just close family. She isn't really one for big parties so we'll just do tea.

You do what is right for you hon. If thats waiting till next week than thats what you do.

Do you see you pdoc this week? Can she give you some extra support until you go in?

I hope you have a great time celebrating @Snowie

Im not sure if I’ll be able to see pdoc during the week. I’ll check on Monday.

@Eve7

Hope you’re able to see your pdoc if that will help, that the admission goes smoothly for you, and that you’re well supported in the meantime. 💛

@Snowie

21 is very exciting! I hope you’re all able to enjoy the dinner together. 💛

So I had an appt. with my psych this morning. Started of ok. Spoke to her about mum and the issues I've been having with her. Talked about a few things to try. Need to start standing up for myself but very hard to do in the moment. Funnily enough she rang twice in my appt. time.

We then spoke about the flashbacks I've been having and my thoughts and what I've been doing.

Dissociated twice in her office in probably a 10 min gap. Wouldn't let me leave straight away, so sat there for about 20 mins trying to stay in the present moment. Finally got home.

Did what I told her I wouldn't do. Didn't even last a day, only a few hours.

@Snowie

Sending you all the 💛

I’m guessing the thing you told your psych you wouldn’t do is a coping strategy you’re trying to replace with other things? I know myself how much shame can be associated with going back to a coping skill that you’re trying to move away from. You’re not alone in feeling that 💛

I’m hoping you can have some compassion for the part of you that sees that as the best way to cope, or at least that you can know that my feeling towards your struggle with that is compassion. It takes time to build up alternative coping strategies, and then more time for the parts of us that are used to relying on the old strategies to trust the new strategies. (Especially when dissociation is involved and the part of us that’s relying on that strategy might not be connected to other skills we have access to in the present moment but didn’t have in the past.) If that doesn’t make sense, let me know and I’ll try to reword it.

Hi @Wintersweet

Thanks for the reply

I think the issue is that the coping strategy I mostly use isn't really good for my health. My psych is concerned about how far I will push it. She has already spoken to my pdoc about it.

It does make sense what you said. It's just going to be a long process. We all know that change can b hard.

Anyway, I hope the day is kind to you.