Life

All you need to do at this moment is keep breathing in and out... and talk more if you like, we're listening... or get some sleep if you can... I'm here drinking milo in my nightie...

Hi @Former-Member

I've been wondering how you are. You dont need to post unless you have time. Are you sure work was as bad as you thought? Did you get feedback from the school?

I think you were amazing to go either way.

I do know that when in authority at school some kids smell vulnerablity and act up ... there are the ones who are always terrific ...

Just conserve and care for yourself and kids ... Life's a marathon not the 100m sprint.

If you can do it fine. If you cant do it ... its fine too ... it doesnt mean YOU are not capable ... its more of a timing thing ... just keep giving yourself self respect for everything you DO.

Good luck with family court.

Yes, like the others ... I am here for you ...

Yes I agree @Former-Member... speed it up .. slow it down ... we need brain thermo/ speedo/stats ...

When I was young I was pressured to focus and concentrate so I could spew out maths solutions at a fast rate and read and analyse copious amounts of text.

Then its learn to meditate ... to slow it all down. Cant THEY make up their minds??

Dont you have appointment with your legal team? They cant keep you in dark, if you are involved, can they?

I am not good with the whole legal rights thing.

Hi @Former-Member,

I've been thinking of you and your feelings about last week when you did a day at work. Though I don't know the details, I get that it has bothered you a lot. I'm thinking that, because you don't have the option of slowly resuming work after a long break, it's maybe just naturally hitting you all at once in an overwhelming way. Remember that it was just day one, possibly the hardest of all. It seems possible that, if you can go in again not expecting to be straight away as comfortable or in control of the situation as you have previously been used to, you may with a bit of time acclimatise to the work environment again and refind that place of comfort you have had at other times. I think you may have described earlier this move back to work as riding by the seat of your pants. I guess that's likely to be a bumpy ride, though I wish it wasn't that way for you. I do admire your courage through everything, whether you return to work or not next year.

Thanks @Mazarita - its just like everythinghappens at once, im just so tired of how hard my life is. Sometimes i feel like i can coast along and get by, but i never get to a happy place - other than tiny moments with my kids that give me that little bit of reason in the madness of my life. Surely life is meant to be better than this... meant to be more people actually physically in my corner. i'm so glad to have everyone on here, and its helped so much, but sometimes i just wish there was a family who thought i was important enough to physically come and be here in the room with me when all this court stuff is going on, i know i'm lucky to have the support workers, but of course there are strict boundaries with those people and you know, they get paid to 'like' you lol and see you as a client with a mental illness. whats wrong with me?! lol that could take a lot of writing!

sorry, im just so flat, nothing is right, nothing is ... enough.. somehow and im just empty. I still havent heard what result of court was on Friday, which will impact family court on thursday and its all just too much