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Life

Unknown userMember20 Nov 2015, 10:23 pm AEDT

Life

My lil boy is not well and it's times like this that I realise how alone we are. If I have to take him into the er I need to get my little girl up as well and try to manage one sleepy child and one sick child. Then the hospital gets grumpy because you can't have another child there but they can't make me leave because my lil boy has special needs and wouldn't let me go without him anyway . It's so hard to know what to do and how to manage everything on my own. And then there is so much else happening I don't feel safe to open the door and go out in the dark. This kind of living and hiding is so unfair on the kids. When is it ever going to get easier?!?

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In response to: Life

JacquesSenior Contributor19 Dec 2015, 10:23 pm AEDT

Re: Life

OMG sorry no @CannonSalt, i didn't mean you where making me feel bad, i am feeling bad about myself, it is just me, i know it is not proof of adult hood, and i did not mean life experiance as sex and relationships, i mean any life experiance, in anything, i have been completely isolated from society since the age of 19 and have not had a night away from home/parents since 1994.

I am trapped in my own house, it is like a prison, i, oh i don't know, sorry, i have just not been able to do anything for myself, ever, my parents have done everything for me, even now.

In response to: Life

Crazy_Bug_LadySenior Contributor19 Dec 2015, 10:26 pm AEDT

Re: Life

Hahaha
What is this "normal" you speak of, and where can I buy one???
I'm also loving the realisation that I am not the only one who has no idea about human mating rituals.
And I'm not the only one who refers to it as that.

I don't understand the way people show affection, and how someone can bear to be in close contact with a human thing. And I'm a bit jealous that someone can put trust in another human.

Maybe one day I will find someone.

I've only ever had one "boyfriend". I originally thought it was okay, it just seemed as though we were friends that spent a bit more time together, and he insisted on showing signs of affection through sloppy kissing, which I found gross and avoided as much as possible.
For a number of reasons I said I needed a break, and at this time got some sort of malware on my Hotmail account which I was unaware of. So whenever I logged into a computer, it would send links to various porn sites to my contacts... including him... he got majorly aggressive, which I didn't understand until I realised the malware. But by then he was beyond reason, and threatening myself and my family. I had no idea what to do. Mutual friends heard and asked for my side of the story. Once I told them, and showed them messages he sent, they put him in his place. Thankfully for me, they stuck up for me, and remained my friends, which I was certain I was going to lose.

In response to: Life

Unknown userMember19 Dec 2015, 10:45 pm AEDT

Re: Life

@Appleblossom I'm still home thankfully and trying hard to stay at home but terrified of my meeting with the psychiatrist on tues (I know he's on my side and wants to help) it's just so hard having someone else kind of in charge of deciding major things about my life (work / meds/etc) I'm having a lot of anxiety about the kids next visit and how my ex is reacting to his last appeal being dismissed and his upcoming sentencing. I keep expecting him to come and every noise makes me jump - hence not sleeping which id really affecting me as well which doesn't help

In response to: Re: Life

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Dec 2015, 10:48 pm AEDT

Re: Life

What is a date?

I didnt realise being "serious" had anything to do with boyfriends and girlfriends.

Who pays? It is not only dutch for the dutch. Though I though it was a good idea for a while.

Can a man be friends with a woman?

Why did they invent "friends with benefits" ?

it kinda went a bit too casual .... some of the old ways were good ... less grog fueled meetings

... more dances with the lights on

yet no lights ... no lycra sounds like an interesting idea

I am still confused and was told I put the cart before the horse ...

In response to: Life

Unknown userMember19 Dec 2015, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: Life

I don't think I will want ever to be in an intimate relationship again. After A child hood of bad experiences then thinking I'd found someone I could trust ... only to find myself trapped yet again I think I'm better off on my own - obviously a bad judge of character!! But also never saw what a healthy relationship looked like behind closed doors and so accepted a lot of crap as just being normal for a while before things spiralled out of control.
Lj

In response to: Re: Life

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Dec 2015, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: Life

I am glad that you feel your doctor is looking out for your interests.

Personal agency is important and a lot of people fight tooth and nail rather than give it up.

It took me a long time to recover and its only partial ... I try to be hopeful but caution patience with your hypervigilance ... its natural in your circumstances.

Now that there is some court record ... and your ex has been let off lightly .. it would be very stupid of him to jeopardise that by more misbehaviour.

Have they suggested changes re meds or work?

In response to: Life

Unknown userMember19 Dec 2015, 11:01 pm AEDT

Re: Life

To change meds or add to my existing they would rather I do it in hospital... They concerned about me going back to work but it's so hard not working too Bevause I don't have anything to do or think about except all the stressors in my life but I'm also terrified of going back to work (won't be saying that to pdoc lol) in case I don't cope. Also worried the longer it takes to go back to work the harder it will be..

In response to: Re: Life

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Dec 2015, 11:06 pm AEDT

Re: Life

How did you leave it with the school?

In response to: Life

Unknown userMember19 Dec 2015, 11:10 pm AEDT

Re: Life

Yes the hyper vigilance is difficult and adds so much to my anxiety... I saw a new trial they are doing to stop the production of adrenalin in people with PTSD which looked amazing - takes away symptoms within half an hour of the procedure for a period of time anyway. But only available in the USA for war vets.
Yeah my ex though was always threatening to take his own life and it terrifies me that he might try to take kids with him if he is upset enough - how we looked and made him look to the community was extremely important to me and now his appeal has failed I'm scared it could tip him over the edge and the things he did to me, and things he'd planned in advance... When he suspected I'd said something about his school to a mum I talked to one afternoon because she ran into me... I just know what he's capable of but courts aren't listening - the police know.. The detective said he's a ticking time bomb . And I'm just so terrified of this Christmas visit which is their first time going to his house and going over night.

In response to: Life

Unknown userMember19 Dec 2015, 11:11 pm AEDT

Re: Life

The school is expecting me to start at end of January

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